Living Vicariously Through the Summer 2012 Olympics

I am on the edge of my seat as I watch the Women's Beach Volleyball semifinals match tonight. Last night I was running the hurdles with Women's Track and Field and vaulting with the Ladies Gymnastics teams. Yes I was out of my league but a woman can dream.

When I was growing up my main focus was figure skating. I never thought about the Olympics because I knew it took both money, hard work and support from a team of individuals. Every four years when the Winter Olympics would roll around I would do school figures (yes they had them back then) on the living room rug and then would do my short program and long program right along with the likes of Dorothy Hamill and all the other participants. The summer games usually wasn't on my radar.

During the time of the 1984 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles, David and I took that time to get married and take our honeymoon to Hawaii. We figured it would be a traffic nightmare for work and we were probably right. Now looking back I wish I would have maybe attended some events since it is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Guess my mind wasn't thinking about it.

For the past 12 days I have been glued to the television watching many of the events. I truly enjoy all the exciting competition between everyone involved. I also am touched by all the back stories they include. From the many athletes that have been in multiple games either due to win after win or missing the medals and coming back to avenge the lose with a hope for a win. It has all been inspiring.

Names like Phelps, Franklin, May/Walsh, it doesn't matter if you are 15 or 40 age doesn't seem to matter this time around. For the South African double-amputee in track who made the finals in the 400 meters being a first in your field to even participate in the Olympics must be exciting.

More women than men participating this time is also inspiring. Especially in countries that normally don't allow women to compete shows that society is willing to make changes for the better.

With only 5 more days of events I will continue to watch, cheer, cry and live vicariously through all the wonderful athletes that will inspire young and old for years to come.

A Female's Work is Never Done

Time flies when you are not always having fun. As women we spread ourselves so thin it boggles the mind. I know I am not alone in trying to multi-task to the nines. For one it has been over two months since I have even thought of blogging. Why you may ask? Well between being on a chain of multi attendance of funerals, everyday household chores, keeping up with our business and my chocolate business and then looking for some quiet time, and yes trying to say "NO" to adding things to my long list of To-Do's.. But hey I am not alone.

One of my things added to my list was to find a speaker for my business women's group that was new and exciting and a topic that needs to be addressed by all women. I have attempted for some time to bring more focus on certain women's issues and have wanted to get the word out on how important it is for the state in which I have lived for the past 16 years (Missouri) passes our own Equal Rights Amendment. It is surprising that there are still several states (mostly southern) that have not passed there own state amendment. Some women think it isn't important, other's think it would hinder our over-all importance in the workforce and a variety of other reasons not to get involved. Statistically we still only make 78% for every dollar a male gets in pay, we have less than 3% women as CEO's, many of the statistics out there are staggering when it comes to women's rights even in 2012!

Although we have come a long way, we have a long way to go.

I have been trying to compile some other information to have available at the meeting and one thing is The 100 Most Famous and Influential Women in History. Thank goodness for Google searching because some I never knew about. My committee and I will work diligiently to provide useful information as will our speaker (I don't want to jinx it by saying who it is yet) but I have heard from reliable sources that she will inspire us with her presence. Lets wake up the sleeping tiger and work hard and strong to make our foremothers, our daughters, granddaughters, nieces and male influences that we can be equal in whatever we do.

Recently in a period of thought it actually dawned on be why in 2012 we are still thinking and attempting to get equal rights. Women have so much on their plates with marriage, having and raising children, working, volunteering and the never-ending list of things we do we have literally let the issues pass us by, others become more important and priorities change but really hasn't it been long enough?

When I look at the history in pictures of women's suffrage, equality etc. the fashion has changed sometimes more than the issues.

Momisms-We Have All Heard Them and We Have Given Them

I am half way through another Mother's Day. After celebrating twenty-six of them I certainly can not say I am a pro at being a Mom. I learn something everyday, either what I have done well or what I could have done better. All Mom's probably feel this way at some point in time. Over the years I have received the macaroni school art gifts, cards, flowers, plaques etc. Each one coming from the heart of each of my kids.

Several years ago my son gave me a book for Mother's Day called "Momisms" What She Says and What She Really Means by Cathy Hamilton. The book is filled with 105 isms certainly from my past and updated one's to fit the ever-changing meaning of words of today.

To be honest I had glanced at the book over the years but had not truly read each of the isms from cover to cover. Today I chose to do so. Of the 105 isms in the book I had heard and/or used 84 of them. The odds of hearing or saying them all was probably pretty slim since when you grow up an only child those pertaining to sibling rivalry would not come into play.

The first one in the book I admit I used both myself and as a mother. "Don't use that tone of voice with me, young lady (man)!" This ism stems from every mom's firm belief that she is the one in the household entitled to use an authoritative tone of voice. The privilege of "tone" is not afforded even to husbands, let alone childen. It is "tone that gives Mom her power: It is exclusively hers. To lose tone would be to lose everything.

Ism #17 every parent probably can hardly wait to utter these words at some point in time. I admit I heard this alot and use it now with a smile. "Just wit till you have kids of your own." Every mother or parent know the only way to gain complete parental restitution is for her kids to have kids of their own. Then, and only then, will they realize the sacrifice, pain, and suffering moms go through every day of their lives.

Ism #24 I hear my daughter use on my granddaughter already. "I'm going to give you until the count of three." When Mom resorts to the dreaded three-count chances are she's at the end of her rope and you'd be well advised to do what she says immediately. Unfortunately today, alot of kids count right along with you which I am sure will happen one day with her.

Ism #43 "No means no!" The purpose of this momism is to distinguish between the words no and maybe. Most kids know that when Mom says "maybe" then the answer is probably yes. But when Mom says "no" nine times out of ten he, in fact means "no". Today I see more and more Mom's waivering when they should stand there ground, possibly making the world a little more real to their kids. Fact is it's not easy out their and to paint a magical picture of how it is hurts kids more than helps.

Ism #67 "What would you do if I wasn't here?" Intendedto make a child stop and think about how much Mom does for him/or her each day, tis rhetorical question sometimes invokes a kids fantasy. In my reality I have lived more now without a Mom around than having one but think I have managed to have enough figurative Mom's around that have helped me through the rough patchs.


Ism #78 I think is probably hard for all mom's. "I love you equally." This is Mom's pat answer to the deaded question: Who do you love the most?" Some inexperienced moms will add the caveat":..but for different reasons". A word of warning don't every go there.. I will though (did you have any doubt) I depended on and have with both my children in different ways. My son was the man of the house many times because his dad was on the road alot and probably had to be more grown up more than he wanted, but I think it has shaped him into the great husband and dad he is now. With my daughter as do most mother/daughters we had our headbutting years and now appreciate each other alot more now that we are women.

So in looking back in my years as a mom. I have made mistakes, I have gone the extra mile. We don't get a guidebook and if we did we would put our own spin and often do in being a mom. We wouldn't trade an arguement, a life lesson for the non-monitary pay job we have until we die.. So with that I will relax for the rest of the day, proud to wear the banner of MOM...

Forever Young-Not Such a Bad Thing?

There has been a song by Rod Stewart called "Forever Young". I think there was even an old movie by the same name. When you think of it if you are truthful maybe we all would like to be forever young. Some people say, "your as young as you feel". Which somedays we all probably feel really darn old. When multiple deaths hit you in the face full force, you want to grab a little of your youth and hold on for dear life.

My youngest brother who died way to young loved the carefree times he spent on the sea and his deep-sea fishing. He once told me although it was hard work he enjoyed his time out because he only had to focus on one thing--fishing.

I always felt my brother-in-law who recently passed was in the "forever young" catagory. His chronological age never fit his age of actions. Good or bad he lived his life by no one's rulebook.

Another recent one who was tagged "forever young" was Dick Clark. When I heard of his passing this week it brought back a flood of memories of my childhood. Each Saturday morning at 11:30a.m. my grandpa and I would flip to American Bandstand and dance in the living room together. He was an avid lover of rock-n-roll music, Little Richard, Elvis, Tina Turner. Race knew no boundaries in music for him. I guess that was one of the things I so loved about him and often wonder what he would think about music today. I listen to a wide range of music myself and have started the same with my grandchildren.

Its also said if you are around younger people that rubs off. As I get older myself I find that I prefer being around young people more. So much of my time growing up was learning from my elders that I think now is time to learn from youth. Trading aches and pains gets dull and deaths constant knocking makes me want to put my hands to my ears.

To end the week my son had to put down his dear young friend Parker. Parker was a five year old pound pup of 140 lbs. His size wore on his poor hips and a tough decision had to be made to put him down. This senario made me think back to when our family dog passed away at home while we were gone on a trip when he was in high school. My young son made the decision at the time to bury "Lady" in our backyard.

When your young decisions are hard and when you are older realities are tough. I'll just try and keep a youthful attitude and forge on....

A Girl Can Dream

Most of the daily news seems to be comprised of war, the economy and more doom and gloom than one person can sometimes really handle. But this week the big talk of the town, state and country seems to be the countries largest Mega Million Lottery pot. At $560+ million I personally can't think of one person that hasn't bought at least one ticket and sat back and thought "what if I won the big prize?"

Truthfully I have made the list of what I would do with any large amount of money. A lot of money can't truly make you happy but in today's day and age a little could help make life a little more easy and comfortable. I would gladly share the wealth with those around me, charities and probably do something crazy but I have a 175 billion to 1 chance. The news said the chances of getting struck by lightening was more probable.

I hope the person or people who do win realizes it is a once in a lifetime occurrence if you have the luck and take the chance but also think of the win as an opportunity to live your life wisely.

If anything this week this girl has been in dreamland with a list of what if's. But after tonight I like most other people will step back into the real world and try and continue on with what I have and be just as thankful.

Disabled American Veteran or American Veteran Who Is Disabled?

Sometimes a chance encounter or unexpected conversation can make someone take a little extra time to think something out. This has happened several times lately. I am not exactly sure why maybe just to make me personally take pause.

Recently, I had stopped to purchase Powerball numbers in hopes of winning the big jackpot. Of course chances are one in millions but you can not win if you don't play, or so my husband comments often. Also I had a chance to visit my daughter at her second job. After purchasing the numbers a voice from behind me commented about the recent big jackpot that was won. The young man appeared to maybe be in his 30's, a very tall bear of a guy but lets face it anyone taller than my 5'2 is a bear of a man. He was smartly dressed in a dark blue suit, with matching shirt and tie not something I often see anymore where I live. He also wore a green Disabled American Veteran cap. After the quick mention of the numbers he quickly moved to how he had won a $500 prize recently in a lottery ticket scratcher. He explained how the money came in handy just at the right time because it was later used to do some plumbing repairs and help a dog that had some health issues. He also mentioned that he was unable to work because he had early stages MS, fibromalgia and several other health issues. He went on to say that he spent much of his time at the VA as he was learning how to handle a wheelchair as he would eventually be in one someday. He briefly mentioned that he had been in the Navy in the early 90's and that his ship had been hit in some way.

The conversations rapidly moved from one topic to another making it somewhat difficult for me to keep up as he wouldn't finish sentences before starting on another. I stood there and let him talk as I felt like it was the thing to do. It seemed as though he focused on his Navy buddies and his time he spent in service. Although it was obvious that his health had been severely compromised due to his service it still seemed to bring light to his eyes when he discussed the places he traveled too and he proceeded to show me some pictures on his cellphone of these friends.

His demeanor changed when he spoke of how he had gotten someone fired for questioning his disability. He explained how the person had commented that he got so much more than what this person's relative got as far as benefits. His comment was he had been disabled while serving in active duty not years later.

This brought up a question after I eventually excused myself and left. I am not exactly sure of the answer and am not really sure if there is a true answer that would help either party. I know it is unfortunate and sad to see people of all ages who have served there country and go away with the feeling that because they served there country a part of them didn't return back home. Although I felt like maybe this conversation was a lesson learned I still came away with sadness but a little sense of pride that the young man chose me to pour his heart too. Maybe it was another moment of unless you have walked in someone's shoes you never know what there situation is. I appreciate the service they gave but am always angry at what the outcome is for these young men who unfortunately return broken in some way either right away or years later. No matter when it is it will affect families forever.

I guess its a little like playing the lottery your numbers come up and sometimes you have all the numbers and other times you have none. Thank you too those who have served. I will think of you a little bit differently from now on.

No Way to Start a Week

When I was thinking last night what my planned blog title would be for the week I thought I would post about the U.S. National Figure Skating Championships starting soon and my experience attending my first Nationals as a spectator. But, alas that will have to be moved to next week.

One always hates to receive a dreaded phone call late at night. A 1:00a.m. call can only mean bad news and of course my first thought was my husband is on the road and something had happened. Awakened from a sound sleep and eyes not focused, my groggy hello was not prepared for what I was to hear.

"Your brother is gone". Gone? My first thought was a car accident. My youngest brother who would be 44 this June and we were really the only one's who communicated with each other over the past 19 years. Although the last couple years were filled with missed calls and other issues that kept us apart, he was not the one out of my five half siblings who I would have thought would not live a long life. Our life disfunctions have been many, he was the youngest and once told me he thought he had learned from everyone's mistakes. He never married, never had kids (jokingly he said that he knew about) but he lived with demons like everyone else. He loved commercial fishing and said life on the boats made him happy. Although he was born in Missouri, he had moved to North Carolina many years ago and had acquired that Carolina drawl.

David and I spent some time with him several years ago and one thing about him I remember was his dark brown eyes and his wonderful smile. He had his flaws like we all have but his compassion and warmth no matter what wrongs he had in his life always seemed to overcome everything else in his life.

I have my regrets and probably always will that our lives together were not filled with more happier moments but I at this time I must believe that all things happen for a reason, good or bad and what little time we did spend together was all that God would allow for us.