What we Want to Do and What we Have to Do

How many times have you heard your child say, "Do I have to do that?". I know I heard several times with my kids and I was guilty of doing it also when I was a kid. I can remember my go to tag line when I didn't want to do something right away was "Just a minute".  That minute didn't go over well for my parents when they wanted me to do it right away.  I wanted to do what I was doing at the time and didn't want to interrupt my flow. Has that changed since I am older now? Probably a little but I still hate to be interrupted when I am deep into doing something else.

Even as we get older we still have to do things we really don't want to do. My list varies. I don't like to clean the toilet but since I don't have someone to clean my house I don't have a choice. I have a few choice words while I am doing the task as I am sure most people say those same words.

Everyone has their own way or technique in doing things. Most of the time you do what is easiest for you to get the job or task done. I am always for the less steps possible to still get to the final conclusion.

I recently came across a thimble in my sewing tote. I had to have it as part of my sewing kit when I took sewing in junior high school. Along with a seam ripper, sewing chalk, and several other accessories. My teacher Mrs. Keane was very old school in the techniques she passed on to her students. Many were the same rules that my mother and grandmother used because that was how they were also taught.   I have recently been doing a few small sewing projects.  So when I saw my thimble I thought about how little I have ever used it and wondered why I have kept it all these years.  I know why I was suppose to use it back in the day. Mrs. Keane always wanted us to get used to it on our fingers while we were learning. It was suppose to be an assistant in pushing the needle through the cloth and also I always figured so we wouldn't stick our fingers with the needle. It made my finger sweat more than anything and being who I am I would put it on while the teacher was in front of me but as soon as she walked away, off the thimble went. For me it seemed more of a hindrance than a help.

Sometimes I feel like I spread myself so thin on what I have to do that what I need to do sometimes gets put aside. I am trying to be more aware of trying to add those things I want to do to the front of the list, but sometimes what I don't really want to do seems to take over.  I remember when I was younger people would tell me oh you will have plenty of time to do what you want when you get older. Hummmm that hasn't been the case. I still have things piled up that I need to finish.

I think I have heard a saying about a thimble. Something like "it wasn't enough to put into a thimble". I guess that means very little? Well maybe that is why I kept it in the first place. Maybe I thought when I got older I wouldn't have much to put in it to do. Boy, was I wrong.

Sometimes a Human's Best Friend Isn't Always Human

I am not sure who penned the phrase "A man's (or women's) best friend is his dog" but I am pretty sure it was probably a dog lover. I have almost always had a dog in my life from birth to present day with a few fish, birds, turtles, mice and one cat thrown in for good measure. But dog's for me have always been a special companion. In my 53 1/2 years I have had five. My two boys now are in their senior days of life. I cherish each day I have them both and know I will be a sad sight when they do go on to the rainbow bridge.

Pets provide comfort and companionship usually when you need it most. Most of the time they rule your roost just like a human does unfortunately sometimes even more.

Many times I have had dogs appear at my door because they decided to see what it was like beyond their own backyard. One time I had the same experience when our Bishon  Frise decided to take a vacation. It ended a week later on a good note.

I find lately being a social media follower that between the postings of dogs being lost or found, the funny videos of animals interacting with each other or with other unlikely pairings it definitely brings a chuckle when you need it most. The negative side is those sick individuals who chose to abuse animals, who in my book should be tared and feathered. Cowards take the easy way and go for animals when they can't express themselves. It seems like it gets worse or maybe its just again social media brings it to our attention.

Christmas 2014 Scooby Doo and Snookie

Many times I have had people ask me how can I stay by myself all the time with my husband gone on the road. In 30+ years I really haven't been alone.

My one public service announcement that I would suggest to those that have animals goes like this. As Bob Barker used to say on his closing of the Price is Right, "Have your pets spayed or neutered". Although I have never had a rescue animal myself, I am an advocate if you can find the right one that fits your needs and the needs of your family.  Be very sure because they are like children in my mind. A true thoughtful, caring person wouldn't give back a child so don't give an animal back--they have feelings too. They take time, money and more time to take care of.  When you take your dog for a walk--pick up the poop! I equate it too when you go to someone's house and use their bathroom don't you flush?

 While my daughter was away at school years ago, I picked this sign up at a craft fair. It pretty much says it all. 

Letters and the Joy They Can Bring Anytime

I often find some very interesting stories in the Parade Magazine section of the weekend paper. I came across one recently that I had saved to read for later. The cover had Al Pacino on the front and his new movie coming out called Danny Collins. It is based on a true story about a letter John Lennon wrote to a British folk singer back in 1971. The folk singer never got the letter until 2005 from a collector that had found it.  I am not really a Al Pacino fan but this looks like a movie maybe worth seeing.

What caught my eye was after reading the article that maybe the lost art of letter writing might be making a comeback. (Not sure if maybe it ever really left, at least not for me).

When you stop and think, there are many types of letter you can write. When I think back to all the letters I have written over the year's, several important ones come to mind.

When I went through my quest to find my adopted family, I wrote MANY letters. The final one was to my birth mother. I still have a copy today that I occasional reflect over.

 As a student in school I remember having writing assignments where you had to write to a business asking for information. I remember at the end of junior high probably in a social studies class we had to locate a person (pen pal) to write to from another country. The teacher had located somewhere the class could write too. The teacher sent the letters and you waited to hear back.  We eventually heard back from a class in Korea. The girl that was assigned to me wrote back a few letters but eventually after a short time I didn't hear from her. I was very disappointed but she had somehow sent my name to a girl in Sweden. I remember in the last letter she sent to me she stated she didn't have time to write so she was sending my name to this other girl because she wanted me to have someone to write too.  I eventually wrote the girl a few times and she wrote that she had too many people to write too also (guess by today's standards its like having too many Facebook friends) so she was passing my name to a relative.

The true pen pal letter writing campaign started in 1976 and lasted until 1981. Lisette was the same age as I was but lived a very exciting life. She was going to university (equivalent to our high school at the time) and was working as an au pair. She would send me postcards of all her travels in Europe with the different families she was employed with. She wrote frequently about drinking and other things at the time I had no clue about. I remember my mother thought she was just too advanced but it was so fun reading about her adventures. I kept the letters and occasionally think back how innocent I was and how much of a jet setter she was.

I now wonder what that 54 year old woman is up too. Is she living in Europe? She had always talked about visiting me and I her which never happened. Is she married with children? She talked about wanting to work for the airlines also at one time. I am sure our lives are completely different but I would love to find her now and catch up.

One of the letter writing stories mentioned in the article was a website started by a girl in Atlanta. MoreLoveLetters.com was started by Hannah Brencher in hopes of inspiring more letter writing. She has also wrote a memoir If You Find This Letter: My Journey to Find Purpose Through Hundreds of Letters to Strangers. 

One of the sad statistics listed in the article was since 2007 the U.S. Post Office receives 20% less letters.  One  positive statistic is 1 million+ kids in America alone sent letters to Santa Claus last year (he would still rather get a letter than an e-mail or text in my opinion).  I know I still enjoy sending a letter to a few people during Christmas and I really enjoy getting a response from them.

  It also reminds me of a song I heard as a kid called "I'm Going to Sit Right Down and Write Myself a Letter" from the musical Ain't Misbehaven'. I might just write a letter to a friend I haven't heard from in a very long time. You can too!

Today We Are All a Little Irish

A poem was read in honor of this day at a recent meeting I attended it goes like this:

May love and laughter light your days,
And warm your heart and home.
May good and faithful friends be yours,
Wherever you may roam....
(Celtic Blessing)

Today we are all a little Irish. Well maybe. I had my yearly Shamrock Shake from McDonald's this past weekend all 660 calories of it. It was so much better than corned beef and cabbage or green beer. We wear our green today in honor of St. Patrick. According to lore, Catholics, Eastern Orthodox and Lutheran's celebrate the feast of Saint Patrick with food, parades, shamrocks and drinking alcohol. But today everyone shows their Irish.

This past year I had the pleasure of traveling to Ireland without even leaving the comforts of my computer. The youngest daughter of friends of ours in California attended a semester abroad in Galway. Every couple of weeks she posted on her blog (unfortunately it has since been removed) her travels to various castles and interesting towns and tourists spots, along with all the different foods, drink and other Irish must see and do. The many pictures were breathtaking and her step by step adventure and beautiful stories made it like you were walking along with her on this adventure of a lifetime.

I have had many friends that have kissed the Blarney Stone, toured the Guinness Brewery, walked the moors. Each time I saw Megan's pictures with new friends and also family that visited I couldn't help think what a lucky girl!

I have missed two opportunities to visit Europe over the years. Not sure if it will be in the cards to visit but it was a wonderful adventure seeing bits and pieces of Ireland through a young girl's dream trip.

May you explore your Irish roots today.

Facebook Throw Back Thursday; Meaningful Skating Memories

I enjoy Facebook’s Throw Back Thursday for various reasons. Sometimes longtime friends post pictures from bygone days, I post childhood photos of myself and my children, and the really interesting pictures are those of objects that most kids of today probably have no clue what they are.

Some of the interesting “old timer” items: typewriter, pencil sharpener, television rabbit ears, etc.

Figure skating has changed through the years just like everything else.  Techniques change and instruction has changed drastically.  A visit several years ago to one of my home rinks made me realize how teaching skating has changed.  For beginning skaters’ who may have a difficult time standing on skates most rinks have an apparatus made of PVC pipe much like walkers for elderly people. They scoot rather easily along the ice while providing ease to stand up for those who are not adept yet.  When I took my first steps on the ice I walked along the railing until I felt comfortable and then ventured out further and further until I was skating on my own. I fell a few times but as they say “you must fall a few times, get back up and go on”.

Recently I came across a picture on Tai Babilonia’s Facebook page (shown below) of a routine 78’ record. Way back when I was a young skater most if not all rinks had an area where a record player sat along the ice rink railing or off in a small room close to the ice surface. Hours and hours were spent listening as is still the case music joinders’ from classical to show tunes to current hits. Once the coach/student decided what music they were doing, a routine record was recorded. These records were played over and over and over again. Most competitive skater’s had several copies made so one was for competition and one for just in case the needle stuck. My competitive career did not start until cassette tapes so I never had a 78’. With the evolution of music now it is all about music played from your phone, ear buds, CD’s and digital rink systems.

Photo by Tai Babilonia

While going through my closet recently I came across my scribe. What is it you ask? Well along with the massive changes in skating one big one happened starting in figures in 1968. In competitive skating it accounted for 50% of scoring. Then again changes were made in the 70's and 80's to now compulsory figures or no longer included in ranking competitions. The only hold out group that still continues to enjoy the mastery of figures is adults who can still compete in competitions recreational with the ISI (Ice Skating Institute). The scribe device was a great tool to help you master the two or three circles used in figure skating. The size of the circle was based on your height and the scribe could be used before or after your initial tracings. Some skaters would resort to using it first to make the circles to trace, most instructors preferred that you trace the circles yourself first and use the scribe to trace over and see if you were accurate in the sizing. Most of the time my figures looked more egg-shaped (which was not good).  Compulsory figures used to be the separator of the men from the boys so to speak. Today with the scoring system it's about who can do the bigger quad. 

My scribe will go back in its comfy place in the closet along with my skates in their bag. Oh that has changed too. I had to hoof the bag on my shoulder, now they use roller bags. What won't they think of next?

Leave it to Oscar to Create a Social Media Firestorm

Although I only saw one of the Oscar nominated movies (Gone Girl), I still enjoyed the Red Carpet Highlights and the Academy Awards this past weekend. Although the fashion was a little blahh for my taste, I enjoyed getting on Facebook and conversing with a friend about some of the fashion hits and misses.

Although I have not seen the movie Boyhood which took twelve years to complete, I have followed a little of the actress who played the mom and also won the Supporting Actress Oscar, Patricia Arquette. She is from an acting dynasty. Grandfather, Cliff Arquette (Charlie Weaver) was best known to me as a regular on Hollywood Squares. Dad, Lewis Arquette, played J. D. Pickett for many years on The Waltons.  Her brother is actor, David Arquette and a sister, Rosanna Arquette.

I always enjoyed Patricia's role on the program Medium and I am looking forward to her new role in CSI Cyber. In any interview I have ever seen of her she always seems to be a very soft-spoken woman. I am sure when you win the top honor of Academy Award and you have that short window spotlight on you many struggle with the thank yous to family, agents and everyone you ever have worked with.  She did all that and then some in my book. After her thanks to all the really important people in her life, she chose to end with this.

"To every woman who gave birth, to every tax payer and citizen of this nation, we have fought for everybody else's equal rights. It's our time to have wage equality once and for all and rights for women in the United States of America".

Of course social media exploded after her speech. Some positive and of course the naysayers were also quick to add their two cents worth. The first that popped up for me was a piece on Fox News by news contributor and actress Stacy Dash (ironic that she played in the movie Clueless) and that she was appalled at Arquette's speech. Dash insinuated that Arquette needed to "do her history" because in 1963 President Kennedy passed an equal pay wall that is still in effect. I think if I hear this 1963 quote again in 2015 I will choke.

Yes, it was passed but what people both men and women still seem to ignore is it is outdated, laws are broken each and every day.  Yes, the National Partnership for Women and Families, according to a recent study (more recent than the 60's or the last census) women make on average 78 cents for every dollar paid to men amounting to a yearly wage gap of almost $11,000 per year. 

The next day after the Oscar's I posted my displeasure about the Stacey Dash comment. To my surprise a dialog/debate started about men and women and equality.  I realize men and women are  different. We process things differently, we approach things differently. We work differently. But, in the end if we tackle a task and come out with a successful result shouldn't we get paid the same??  I realize today equality should also include gender, race, religion etc. Society seems to be on super fast forward and our laws and thinking sometimes stays stuck about 10 or more years behind. 

Today the burn your bra group and the sports bra groups seem to be in completely different universes. As I said in my Facebook post: "I have a son and daughter and two granddaughters and two grandsons. I would hope that by the time they go into the workforce that they can say, "ERA oh yes I remember my grandma talking about it and how hard it was to get equality, but we have it NOW".

Facebook has many pages if you are interested in learning more about the causes: 

The Alice Paul Institute-located in Mount Laurel, New Jersey helps to educate the public especially young girls about equality.

ERA Now-is a advocacy community that shares information regularly about equality

ERA Once and For All-based in Newport Beach, CA is another source of great information on equality

I always like to share a story about equality that took place in 1982. I was a young, civil servant that volunteered to help with our office relocation across town. Single, unmarried and weekends free I chose to spend a Friday, Saturday and Sunday at the office. A young, handsome man from a state contract authorized moving and relocation company and about 25+ young men made the move happen. This young, ambitious woman flitted here and there for hours on end making sure boxes, furnishings and records got securely on the truck and sent over to the new facility. I would enter and exit the door many times. Each time I did this I would see most of these same young men, taking smoke breaks, getting refreshments and standing around.  The young, handsome man finally after many long hours of work, made this statement "WOW you work harder than most of the men I have here today, for a little thing you work hard".

Today, 33 years later I still work with that man 24/7 365 days a year. I may not work as fast or as hard as that little thing I used to be but the determination will be with me until the end.

Thank you the Patricia Arquette's of the world for speaking from the heart and believing it can and will happen someday soon.

The Shortest Month of All can Sometimes be Very Long

Some years you are lucky and February has 29 days and then there is the 28 day one like this year. You wouldn't think that two or three less days would really matter that much, but they do.

The rare time that it was a good thing was when I worked (we only got paid once a month) and it was nice when the 28 or 29 days would wiz by until another pay day. Guess that also works both ways. You just get done with January bills and February has three less days in which to pay bills for the month.

It is great that February is during the winter months because Groundhog's Day is the first day of February and we wait patiently to find out how much more winter weather is in our future. We have been fortunate this year that we haven't had it really bad, thankful for that at least.

As we get older the days seem sometimes to fly by, this month is almost over with only a few days left until we will be into March and spring and day light savings will be here. I am ready for those few more hours of day light and sun.

I am sure for the east coast they are also waiting patiently either to dig out from all the snow they have had or to at least not be home bound for what seems like the entire month of February.

Two holidays in February (Valentine's and President's Day) is also unusual as most month's have only one.

No morals to this story, just observations. Life is short, and so is February. On to March.....