Alone Many Ways to Embrace It

At this time of year being alone can be really hard. The New Year starts off and the high of the holidays sometimes leads to your mind focusing on many things. We all need time alone whether we want to admit it or not.

Growing up an only child for most of my life, I learned at a young age to learn to entertain myself when other's couldn't. I have never really been at a lose to keeping busy. I have many projects I have wanted to put my time into over the years.

At a young age, I always read books (and still do), colored (I recently got back into that after the growing number of adult coloring books), I played with my toys (much more of that happens with four young grandchildren under the age of six), as long as the imaginary friends I had when real friends were not around (really hope that doesn't reappear in the near future). I will always have something to keep my life interesting and busy.

Recently, a school friend who has a daughter that skates, posted a video of her skating on an empty rink. I have watched it over and over enjoying the memories of when at any rare, and given time when I skated I would walk into the rink and find not a skater on the ice. The quickness of lacing on the boots and stepping foot onto the ice was a time when the creative juices would kick into gear for me. Racing around as quick as I could without bumping or avoiding a skater was always a happy time. A great time to be alone. This was usually the time my interpretive ideas really flowed.

First ice of the season in Sedalia, 2015

About six months ago (gee has it been that long already) I started taking Yoga classes. I had read and heard much about the practices and thought I would give it a try. As our lives become so busy and sometimes for me not getting enough of the appropriate and needed "alone" time, you would be surprised how that one hour twice a week  with appropriate music, quiet and getting one with your thoughts (sometimes it can be difficult) can be more helpful. I admit sometimes as the encouraging and lovely instructor sometimes says "push thoughts of your everyday life out of your mind". "Your mind will wonder and it will (and it does)".  Boy is that not the truth.  Last night with her busy schedule as a teacher, she left her tablet at home so we had to play slightly different music for class. It was great music but the alone time with myself caught me listening to the music and thinking how wonderful it was and that I am sure I had heard it before in a skating routine. I actually had to catch myself not waving my arms in the air like a skater. Not appropriate in a quiet, yoga setting. See my life will somehow always revolve  back to skating. 

Another unfortunate part of being alone is as we age. For some it becomes increasingly more and more difficult to spend time alone. Whether it is due to lifestyle changes, choices, family etc. As we grow older sometimes we may spend more times alone. I spoke recently with someone who has lived pretty much a whole lifetime of always having people either living, or visiting them in a long lifetime marriage. They never knew who would be knocking at the door to stay and pretty much almost never spent time alone. Now life is different and really they are in a quandary on how to cope. Coming from large families they never learned to adapt themselves to life in smaller numbers.  I came across a recent quote on social media: "It is important to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person".  

As I write this today it is the first day I have had some alone time at home after the holidays. I am embracing it and hope that I can forever enjoy my time alone. I have had the tools all my life, I may just have to use them differently.

Milestones of 2015-Better Late than Never

December, 4, 2016

I was scanning my posts recently and one: I noticed I was a little behind on my postings. It is been a storm of such lately and certain things get put on the back burner. Also while scrolling down I noticed that I had not undrafted  (not the correct word but I am using it) my year end for 2015. It was strange to read all that happened and also to be close to the end of 2016. So what the heck, I look at it this way, what a difference a year makes! I hope I am better at summarizing 2016. Boy it was a whopper!

2015

Another year has come and gone. When I looked on the listing for how many posts I wrote this year I was slightly saddened. A total of 22 posts for the entire year. Gee was it because my life seemed sometimes boring? Was I super busy? Could I find nothing noteworthy to write about? Well all of the above, if that is at all possible. I struggled sometimes to not write about the negatives and more about the positives. Not easy for this Scorpio.

I get a chuckle when someone makes the comment about retirement or taking life slower. More power to you if you can do it.

 One of the first things I set out to do this year was keep up my smaller Christmas tree out all year. Why you ask?  The previous year I had seen several places about trying something different.  Since it is usually up for such a short time (decorations went up slightly later than normal this year due to scheduling) but I did manage to cover just about every holiday and a few of my own ideas. I don't have it down yet but it was fun to do something different. If your on Pinterest check out my "Do Something Different and New Ideas 2015". The list I wrote about earlier in the year was pretty long and unfortunately, I was able to do only a few on the list, but at least the thought was there to at least do a few.

As if I don't have things to keep me busy I also got heavily involved in adult coloring books as a way to keep my mind on positive, creative things. I had read and seen them all over the Internet but what really got me going with it was my on-line correspondence with Tai Babilonia. Earlier in the year she had mentioned on her website how she was in development of a ice skating related coloring book. Well if that didn't peak my interest! We started messaging each other about when the launch would be sometime later in the year and in time they came out. Take a look back on my blog about that experience. I was so blessed to get one of the first autographed copies and she spotlighted some of my pages on her Facebook and website. What an honor to have one of your skating idols that you quietly shared the ice with and thanks to social media are able to connect with.

As far as family, we had many celebrations. Our second grandson joined the other three little people in the family. Gentry Ellis is a carbon copy of his sister and his Dad and makes our grandchildren package of two and two complete. I love even numbers,

Our oldest granddaughter Hadleigh had a milestone of starting Kindergarten. Actually, it just wasn't her milestone it was all our milestones. Being involved in school activities I thought had ended for me years ago. But, we enjoy our daily pick-up and its interesting all of these years later to see how parents deal with their children and school. It was much more organized and calm back when my children went. They have a long way to come but at least it provides much entertainment and conversation that I am sure they would be embarrassed if I touched on any of it. Think a lot of growing up of kids and parents will go hand in hand. Our second granddaughter started Preschool recently and she has also provided I am sure much dinnertime conversation between her parents as well. As they say out of the mouths of babes.

Milestone number three was provided by my father in law. Although, the lifespan of people is longer I doubt if he thought he would reach the ripe age of 90. I posted about it back in September about the man of few words. How he made it, we are all at a lose. He has been through good times and many hard times the last several years. Each day is a blessing.

One issue that has been on my radar pretty much since I can remember is Women's Equality. The soapbox came out more and more again this year (not surprisingly). The Oscar's provided a platform once again when Oscar Winner, Patricia Arquette gave a wonderful speech. It was all over social media and once she started the ball rolling I found myself back on the ball again after several years of throwing in the ball and towel.  It started going into a new direction in my abilities to start further conversations about the issue which seemed to go off.  I was asked if I would contribute to our women's organization Facebook page as a co-administrator to keep our group up-to-date on our activities. There is such a wide range of topics on the Internet that my knowledge and postings provided probably more information then they bargained for. If that wasn't enough, several months ago since I guess I was doing such a great job, our State organization President asked if I would consider taking over the State Facebook page. I do the same with it but try to stress how important it is to continue to grow our group and bring it into the 21st century. We have to be willing to learn new things and step out of the box (gee didn't I say this same thing back in 2010!) As someone said during a conversation about how I was an administrator/maintaining four total sites on Facebook, Wow are you just the Internet Guru! I prefer Media Maven myself.

We all usually wear many hats, and for this person who actually dislikes wearing hats I try and tackle whatever comes my way. Sometimes it is kicking and screaming but I hope 2016 bring on more interesting adventures and hopefully I will be able to push my eight year blog as well into the 21st century. That would be a great milestone for 2017!

. Social media and butterfly merged.

Monarch Powell Gardens 2015

The Star Wars Saga Flash Forward to Flash Back

Just to clarify to all those who love the Star Wars Saga--sadly, I am not a fan. Lets start with when I was  thirteen my Dad retired from the Fire Department. One of his many activities to fill in his free time was going to see movies. Most of the time he went by himself but sometimes as was what our family of three motto was; if he wanted to do it, we all did it. Don't get me wrong, I love movies just not this particular type.

Flash to the opening of the first Star Wars. I don't know that the hype of today happened back then, my guess is no.  I had to look up when the original actually opened, thinking maybe they opened this one to coincide with the first but, nope again the original opened May 25, 1977.  As a sixteen year old girl my idea of fun wasn't going to the movies with Dad but guess what we went to see? I remember the time distinctly because I had a terrible, ear infection and head cold, hard to believe May in California would create such a perfect storm. I remember I could barely hear and my head throbbed from sinus pressure. The only seats available were pretty much in the first couple rows of the packed theater. Go figure.  The only impressive thing I remember is the musical score. I knew as soon as I heard the opening music that every other person would be skating to routines to it in the near future. Did you doubt that this post would have some sort of skating connection?

Now cut to Christmas season of 2015 the first in an almost five year new generation of movies starting. Articles in the newspaper, cards and action figures in the store. Thank goodness no one in our family put Star Wars requests on Santa's list this year probably because they are too young to appreciate and truth be known I think after only a few days if I hear one more utterance I may implode. Could it be that my sinus have been bothering me the last few days? Brings back uncomfortable memories of childhood? Thanks George Lucas, putting you on the naughty list. Bah Humbug.

Sunrise, Sunset-December 2015

This past weekend I did something I haven't done in a long time. I was actually able to see a full sunrise and a full sunset both in the same day. Some would say, "Big deal" others would say "What a gift".

Lifestyle changes, demographic changes sometimes dictate how our days begin and end. As we age just the fact that we get up in the morning and go through a complete day and end our days is something lately isn't a given for everyone.

When I was skating, especially when I was doing team skating, many a weekend required me to get up at the "butt crack of before dawn" and drive to the skating rink and step on the ice at an ungodly hour. Some would say "why do such a thing" but when you love something so much you do practically anything to have the chance to do it. Those years were a gift that I miss dearly.

One year when I was in junior high school, I literally walked the few blocks to school in the dark. I would pick up a few friends along the way, but without fear we did it. Today, you sometimes wonder if stepping out to get your newspaper each morning, if you are safe.

Last week a horrific event happened in California. I am sure those worker's never thought in the morning when the woke up that it would be the last day they would.   Although the reasoning behind it is different, workplace safety has always been in question for as long as I can remember. Civil servants especially can be targeted because the public feels "they pay your salaries". I personally had several instances where between the public and the people you worked with created issues that your comfort level was taken into consideration each and every day I stepped into the office. 

The event that allowed me to see the above sunset was a road trip with a friend to attend a board meeting. I had distanced myself somewhat from the organization and was lured back after a request from the State President of the organization to handle some social media for them. Since I thought it would be a great opportunity to maybe guide the group into another direction my hope was that the weather would be great and the group listen to what I had to say. I think both reasons were successful. We shall see.

Many things can happen between the time you get up in the morning and the time you go to sleep at night. Not every day is a given anymore. Although I would rather see a sunset from the Pacific Ocean, this one was a keeper and the ending to a productive day.

When is a Good Time?

2012

2009

Well I guess it is that time again. Time to get on the soapbox. The media and just about everyone is filled with opinions about everything. That is the way the world turns today. You either get on the train and ride through the overly positive rainbow thinking people, or the doom and gloom or don't bother to get a ticket on the train at all.  Everything is a battlefield today, everything is a hot topic. The long line that is drawn in the sand seems to go into infinity.

At a time when people are quick to erase history by ripping flags down, or removing monuments that were meant to stand forever--history what does it mean anymore? You learn bits and pieces of it during the time you are in school but even that has changed drastically.

A simple question posted on a Facebook page that I am an administrator for (or as I was called recently a web guru) has brought me back to a  hot topic that I have been going back and forth with for the past six years if not probably my entire life.

The new movie entitled "Suffragette" written by Abi Morgan, Directed by Sarah Gavron and starring known actresses, Meryl Streep, Carey Mulligan and Helena Bonham Carter, takes place in 19th century 1912 London and centers around the working wife and mother (Mulligan) and how she gets recruited to join the U.K's suffrage movement. (A note of concidence: Helena Bonham Carter is the great granddaughter to former Prime Minister of the U.K. during the early 1900's H.H. Asquith who was not in favor of the movement).

Unfortunately, this movie was released to only a few areas across the United States on October 23, 2015 and opened to a little larger market in the past week. I contacted our local theater and they will not be showing it.  I am assuming cost was involved and also they probably assumed that possibly not enough interest in our area for viewing. Our closest viewing possibilities are about 1-3 hours away depending on which direction you go either east or west.

This movie starts at the beginning of the movement at a time in history where even the voting privilege wasn't available to women.  After reading a couple reviews posted by Variety and History Today about the movie, some of the comments listed were interesting. Several made mention that because they didn't live in a major city they had the same dilemma. I myself have in that the movie seems to be only as important as the time it takes to get to go see it. Several comments I myself have come across in mentioning going to see is "well it sounds interesting but not sure if it can be fit into the schedules at short notice".

My question is "When is a Good Time?" Was the time during which this movie is depicting just the right time to bring up that women's rights were needed?  It's obvious that the initial opening of the movie was significant since October 23, 1850 was the first Women's Rights Convention held in Worcester, Massachusetts, October 23, 1915 women flooded New York for Women's Suffrage. Recently a posting on a Facebook page, ERA Coalition posted an article from USA Today about Feminist Majority President, Eleanor Smeal call for the ERA to be passed by the year 2020. "Twenty-twenty is the 100th anniversary of the women's vote", she stated "Seems like a good year to us, but pushing for it as soon as possible".  I find this attitude a little disconcerting.

Suddenly other issues become more important.   Sometimes I think it boils down to actually who brings up whether it is a good time rather than actually when is it a good time. Sometimes killing the messenger also kills the message that is staring you at that point in time. I believe things happen for a reason. History sometimes repeats itself and our fight may be far worse down the line if we don't take notice. Every day things happen that we don't expect, either personally or just by an event that may not directly affect us. Actually, there is never a perfect time, or perfect scenario for issues that could not just concern one but a whole group.   Whatever the case may be, I hope people will make the time to see the movie Suffragette. It's a part of history that could change very soon.

The way our world is today, our rights as women and society as a whole could change in the blink of an eye. Will it be a good time? You be the judge.

Filling our Life with Positivity

For anyone who really knows me they know I am pretty much game for just about anything; within reason that is.

I haven't always had a big adventurous streak.  When I was a kid I pretty much did what I was told and kept to a pretty routine life. Figure skating taught me discipline, interpretation skills, and the ability to move with freedom. You don't realize what you had until you no longer have it. Although I keep abreast of things in the skating world with the help of many and the Internet I have not found anything in my life that compares to the time I spent on the ice. Whether it be a bad day at school or work keeping a positive outlook becomes really difficult in the world we live today.

 Lets face it not everyday will be a walk in the park no matter how positive you think.  I seem to do so much inhalation breaths during the course of a day I sometimes wonder if I might pass out. Today we live in a society of social media bullying, constantly being told be positive not negative but lets face it---sometimes its not always that easy.

A few months ago, I received a flyer that has coupons and ads for local businesses in the area. Most of the time I toss it in the recycle pile, but it had been a while since I thumbed through and thought maybe something new and useful might catch my eye. I had heard from the town grapevine that a new Yoga business was getting started in town.  Truth be told I have done some form of Yoga all my life. Stretching is a big part of prep before you step foot on the ice or any form of dance so my interest was peaked as to what actually was taught in a full-fledged class.

So off I went just to observe what the class was like. I don't like to jump in and get my feet wet with anything right at the beginning, I like to ease my way into things before I fully commit especially when it comes to manipulating this body. It was fascinating to see what the different positions are named and what they stretch.  Just the fact the for a few minutes of your day you can focus on yourself, the music and the movements (a little like I did skating) is a much needed distraction.  It is also a treat that I truly enjoy the instructor. She is a breath of fresh air two times a week when my day has been sucky; I know this is not probably the proper word but inserting it anyway. 

Loosing yourself in the moment can be oh so relaxing and since I started over two months ago; (gee has it been that long already) I have been able to get back to a limber me, lose a couple pounds and inches and change a little about my eating. I fall off the wagon once in a while but really who doesn't.

So far the class has been a positive in my often negative world that I live in. I truly hope our town embraces this new world of yoga, that has been around for thousands of years. Sometimes it takes them a little while to fully embrace things, they don't always except big changes but I am trying to think positive. 

For those who actually read my blog, Go to Facebook page Body Retreat 2. They also offer other classes that might interest you. I highly recommend Audrey, she is our red headed gem.

The Man of Few Words--90th Birthday Celebration

What can you say about someone who has lived 90 years?  Some have traveled the world, other's have worked exciting jobs. That doesn't define a man I have known for 33 years.

 The first time I met my father-in-law was as a surprise Christmas visit to Missouri. We had just had our son a few months before and secretly planned a special Christmas delivery of our family. The trip is still vivid, one because we had just moved into our home a couple weeks before the trip and were in the process of trying to get settled and two because we would be arriving just a few days before Christmas and I was hoping for snow. The surprise went off without a hitch. I remember my mother-in-law opening the door with utter shock, my father-in-law probably had a funny smile on his face. You have to know; this man rarely shows any emotion. 

I have heard tales of him being so mad that he jumped over the hood of a car. A story about when he was a custodian for the local school district came to mind recently after my encounter with a snake at our storage unit.  The principal at the school he worked came upon a rather large snake and went into extreme panic. My father-in-law was called to access the situation. In he came with a shovel and hacked the snake in half and turned and left. A true farm boy reaction.

His life has been filled with the love of bowling, baseball,  Las Vegas trips, making things out of wood, his love for his family and enjoying many other things in life from his easy chair in later years. I know everyone in our family has probably at least one special story about him that may bring a laugh or a tear. Another story that I remember was an old fish story, literally.  

When they moved back to Missouri from California after retiring, they purchased a lake trailer. Many a weekend were spent down at the lake by many in the family (yes even by myself surprisingly). One weekend they went down with his sister and brother-in-law. He loved to go night fishing. He and his brother-in-law ventured out one summer I am sure humid evening to the peace and quiet of the lake. Many hours had passed and my mother-in-law started to get worried when they didn't return as expected. (Mind you it doesn't take much to get her worried). Finally out of the dark they both appeared soaking wet. I can only imagine the picture in my mind of what occurred next. As the story was told his brother-in-law stood up in the boat to get a better grip on his line and tipped himself and my father-in-law over into the water. Neither had life vests on, and neither were swimmers. They were in the water for sometime, lost the fish, fishing equipment, boat motor etc.  I don't think my mother-in-law ever allowed him to night fish again after that.

Dad holding our son Matthew, Dad on picture day for Sedalia School District, Dad in his favorite seat in the house, Dad carving meat for holiday dinners.

The Young Goalder Family-Mom, Dad L to R (Back) Tim, Harvey Dean, L to R (Front) David, Steve

Over the 33 years I have been in the family probably the last several years have been the hardest for him. He has lost his two oldest son's way to soon and has dealt with my mother-in-laws 10 plus year cancer battle with all he has in him. I have seen the sadness in his eyes and also tears.

 I am sure I speak for everyone in our family when I say he has been above and beyond a great brother, husband, father, grandfather and great-grandfather.  

No pomp and circumstance for this celebration. Pizza, cards, scratch-off tickets and cupcakes with family around was all this wonderful man needed. The man of few words, smiled and blew out his candles on his big day.