Just Another "B" Word

While looking at the various statistics about corporate America you wonder sometimes if women are or will ever be more than just 5 percent of Fortune 500 CEO positions. Are we shooting ourselves in the foot or ignoring the obvious? Every time I think we are reaching the top of the hill, comments, suggestions or opinions get in the way and back down the hill women go.

Several weeks ago Sheryl Sandberg along with Girl Scouts USA CEO, Anna Maria Chavez and former Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice launched the "Ban Bossy" Campaign to Empower Girls to Lead Initiative.

On the ABC News piece by Cynthia McFadden, Sandberg the author of "Lean In" wants to ban the word "bossy". She brings up that the negative put-down stops girls from going for leadership roles.

What came to mind first was "Sticks and stones, may break my bones, but words can never hurt me". Words to live by? Not according to Sandberg. Negative shutdowns stop girls from pursuing leadership roles because girls don't want to be called "bossy and don't want to be disliked.

When we look at more statistics the numbers are not positive: Women do 66 percent of the work in the world, they make 10 percent of the income, and 1 percent hold property. Women are 50 percent of the population, 17 percent hold board seats of companies and 19 percent of Congress are women. 2014 and these figures for me are sad.

When I started kindergarten I was one of the youngest in my class. My time before attending school I was rarely around children, mostly adults.  I remember report cards we were got non-traditional letter grades. O for outstanding, G for good, S for satisfactory and N for needs improvement.  I dug my old cards out and every semester through that year I received only Satisfactory and a few Needs Improvements. My two needs improvements were in works independently with others and plays well with others.

Throughout my life I have had my share of disappointments, disagreements, and being disliked. There are many words that can be expressed when describing many women in today's working world. Why not organized, initiators, assertive, ambitious.

In the same interview, Barbara Walters who will be retiring from her long running show this year described how throughout her career as a journalist she has been called "bitchy" and "pushy". She was one of the first to work in a male dominated field and she has conquered the ultimate.

In the interview with ABC  it was mentioned that Warren Buffet, (one of the wealthiest Americans) had made an eye opening and interesting observation. He said,  "he had made it where he is today because he only competed with half the population". Pretty profound on his part but also sad. Would he be where he is today if attitudes had been different?

Bossy is just another word. Sometimes it can hurt, other times people think it is a compliment. Put our big girl panties on and get out their and change things. Maybe to coin a phrase from my 4 year old granddaughter's favorite movie and song right now maybe women should forge on and just "Let it Go".

Adoption-Truths and Lies

I am in the middle of reading Barbara Walters book "Audition" a Memoir. Over the years like alot of people I have watched her specials and yes I do watch "The View" when I get a chance. I don't always agree with any of them on the show but that's the joy of watching. It does make you take notice sometimes. Anyway I have gotten to the chapter in her book that covers her daughter Jackie's life which she said was the hardest chapter to write.

She adopted her at a time when the adoption process was kept quiet both for the biological mother and the adoptive family. (I can relate to this) Her daughter has never wanted to know who gave her up which is a chose alot of adoptees make (but one that I didn't).'

One quote her daughter makes in the book hit close to home for me being adopted. She said, "Almost every adopted child feels a sense of loss and suffers from an "inner abandonment" something she thinks every adopted child lives with. I totally agree with this. It doesn't matter if you find out at a young age or at 28 years old like I did. No matter how much you go over it in your mind, it is what it is. Whether it was " in your best interest" or not it is almost always interpreted as abandonment.

It seems as though Barbara Walters' daughter has made her adjustments, she had some rough years like we all did, some later than others but she has made her peace too it seems.

I am still a work in progress, I am not sure I will ever "make my peace". I have come to the conclusion after almost 16 years after "my find" that no family is perfect, they are who they are, you except them with the flaws and try to go on with the life you have made the best you can, with them or without them.

At this point, most of the important characters in my saga are now gone: my biological mother and grandmother, and the one's the are still around have there own problems trying to cope with life as they choose to live it with the baggage they have collected over the years.


I feel sad they aren't a part of my life but some I had to make the choice to keep out of my life and other's made the choice for me. If any of them happen to read this, (which I doubt they will) I love them, wish them luck in their lives and can only hope instead of living in the past they could live in what future we could have..