Momisms-We Have All Heard Them and We Have Given Them

I am half way through another Mother's Day. After celebrating twenty-six of them I certainly can not say I am a pro at being a Mom. I learn something everyday, either what I have done well or what I could have done better. All Mom's probably feel this way at some point in time. Over the years I have received the macaroni school art gifts, cards, flowers, plaques etc. Each one coming from the heart of each of my kids.

Several years ago my son gave me a book for Mother's Day called "Momisms" What She Says and What She Really Means by Cathy Hamilton. The book is filled with 105 isms certainly from my past and updated one's to fit the ever-changing meaning of words of today.

To be honest I had glanced at the book over the years but had not truly read each of the isms from cover to cover. Today I chose to do so. Of the 105 isms in the book I had heard and/or used 84 of them. The odds of hearing or saying them all was probably pretty slim since when you grow up an only child those pertaining to sibling rivalry would not come into play.

The first one in the book I admit I used both myself and as a mother. "Don't use that tone of voice with me, young lady (man)!" This ism stems from every mom's firm belief that she is the one in the household entitled to use an authoritative tone of voice. The privilege of "tone" is not afforded even to husbands, let alone childen. It is "tone that gives Mom her power: It is exclusively hers. To lose tone would be to lose everything.

Ism #17 every parent probably can hardly wait to utter these words at some point in time. I admit I heard this alot and use it now with a smile. "Just wit till you have kids of your own." Every mother or parent know the only way to gain complete parental restitution is for her kids to have kids of their own. Then, and only then, will they realize the sacrifice, pain, and suffering moms go through every day of their lives.

Ism #24 I hear my daughter use on my granddaughter already. "I'm going to give you until the count of three." When Mom resorts to the dreaded three-count chances are she's at the end of her rope and you'd be well advised to do what she says immediately. Unfortunately today, alot of kids count right along with you which I am sure will happen one day with her.

Ism #43 "No means no!" The purpose of this momism is to distinguish between the words no and maybe. Most kids know that when Mom says "maybe" then the answer is probably yes. But when Mom says "no" nine times out of ten he, in fact means "no". Today I see more and more Mom's waivering when they should stand there ground, possibly making the world a little more real to their kids. Fact is it's not easy out their and to paint a magical picture of how it is hurts kids more than helps.

Ism #67 "What would you do if I wasn't here?" Intendedto make a child stop and think about how much Mom does for him/or her each day, tis rhetorical question sometimes invokes a kids fantasy. In my reality I have lived more now without a Mom around than having one but think I have managed to have enough figurative Mom's around that have helped me through the rough patchs.


Ism #78 I think is probably hard for all mom's. "I love you equally." This is Mom's pat answer to the deaded question: Who do you love the most?" Some inexperienced moms will add the caveat":..but for different reasons". A word of warning don't every go there.. I will though (did you have any doubt) I depended on and have with both my children in different ways. My son was the man of the house many times because his dad was on the road alot and probably had to be more grown up more than he wanted, but I think it has shaped him into the great husband and dad he is now. With my daughter as do most mother/daughters we had our headbutting years and now appreciate each other alot more now that we are women.

So in looking back in my years as a mom. I have made mistakes, I have gone the extra mile. We don't get a guidebook and if we did we would put our own spin and often do in being a mom. We wouldn't trade an arguement, a life lesson for the non-monitary pay job we have until we die.. So with that I will relax for the rest of the day, proud to wear the banner of MOM...