Harassment Today, Yesterday and Tomorrow--What Does it all Mean?

Several years ago I mentioned in a blog post about an incident when I was skating on the synchronized team about a little article that was in our local paper shortly before we were to defend our national championship. I still have the article and look at it occasionally and fondly remember those special skating times. Shortly after the article appeared I received a fan letter (I still have it). This was before the anything was something you had to be careful of. I think today, because of media and news coverage in mostly the negative we have become a society of constant paranoia. Yes, we should always be aware but does being overly cautious take the fun out of things?  Several versions of the truth or opinions travel the Internet I never thought the fan letter I received was anything but. I didn't read into it and think, is this person going to stock me?  Appear at the skating rink? It was just a simple thanks for providing the article and this person's joy of watching skaters hone the sport they enjoy. I am a fan of several former figure skaters and am just putting it out; I will try and not stalk you on social media.

Another skating scenario came up where an inappropriate touch was made by a random individual to several of the ladies on our team. Again, this was back in the day maybe early 90's. We were walking along a pier and it was quick and hard to really react. This specific incident surprised us all so much at that time that we really had no recourse in doing anything--it was so quick and he ran off that what could you do. It is a memory and it happened and if he did it frequently maybe he did it too someone who could do something about it. Touching is an interesting thing; some people don't mind being touched but when it comes to the places where you should ask before touching still applies.

Now I turn to my experiences in harassment in the workplace. Again, back in the day, when I was a young office worker and public service employee, it was hard sometimes to know where to draw the line but the lines were sometimes vague. By today's standard I probably could have shouted harassment but my line was like chalk lines--easily drawn and then erased.  Some comments were made by men who at the time somewhat similar to what is happening today. They were allowed to get away with jokes, innuendo's and casual sexist conversations.  It was chalked up to consider the person, the time and whether to make it a situation that could affect your working situation. Did it hurt me? Yes. Jokes are jokes but when you lump it together it can be hurtful and make for very difficult times.

Today, I have to say I am older, wiser and have been around longer so I probably wouldn't take the same comments. Some people are thick skinned and can let things roll off their backs. Should you? Sometimes yes, unless it gets to be a continuing habit. Should you draw that chalk line and let them know? Yes, sometimes you need to set the tone of how you want people to treat you.


I see it as the new generation comes up. They can sometimes be mean, hurtful and push those boundaries. They get it from media, how they are raised and what they see in everyday life situations.  It isn't always about toughening up, being thick skinned or just ignoring situations. It is teaching about right from wrong and how to define it better.

Nice people still exist, often it is hard to find them sometimes.  What you allow and accept is up to you.  You can either accept anything and everything at face value, voice an opinion follow through but for everything has a consequence and sometimes those consequences will come back from yesterday and make today and tomorrow oh so different.