The Sanctity of Marriage

One thing people always associate June with is weddings. I know many, many people who have chosen the month of June. Usually the month is beautiful weather for outdoor weddings and its a time when school is usually out so everyone is free to travel around the country to attend a family or friends special day.

I have posted many times, I believe about marriage in general and my own.  My hubby and I will soon celebrate 32 years. To some our blueprint is unique in many ways. I have often said I compare ours to military wives, he is fighting on the road of life and not true combat and although I do not move around, he is gone at long periods of time.

I will start by saying, no marriage is 100 percent perfect! Those of you who are or have been married already probably knew that. If anyone tells you they have a totally perfect marriage, they are not only fooling you but themselves.

Marriage is hard. It is a lifetime commitment. It is a constant work in progress. It is 100/100 by each person. Everyone has their own model of a good marriage. We were both born at a time when families were usually two parent families. I can't speak for David but I really only remember having one friend who had parents who were divorced.

Both of us came from completely different family dynamics. I was biologically born to unwed parents. I was adopted at birth. My biological mother was married multiple times, my adoptive father was married multiple times. Although my adoptive parents were married 47 years they created some interesting situations during my lifetime.

Now David's parents on the other hand have been married almost 66 years and although I have only known them for the time I have been married to their son, I don't think I have ever really observed them other than a completely loving couple. They probably have had many instances where they didn't agree with each other but overall one could not live without the other.  As they have gotten older I have seen that the for better or worse has been tested to extremes.

Recently I came across a short video on Facebook on "How to Make A Relationship Last 25+ years". by David Wolfe. It hits on many true points that most marriages and relationships should or probably do follow. I connected with many of them, of course the "skating" couple caught my eye immediately with"always support each other no matter what". During my figure skating days David was won of my greatest supporters along with the kids when they were growing up. It was especially fun during our "team travel" days. He managed to capture several interesting videos that I wish I still had.

For those who are thinking about getting married, think long, hard and put all your efforts into the processes before you tie the knot. Marriage should never be taken lightly and or for granted at all. The one moment you start forgetting your to do list of marriage is when problems start creeping up. Mark my word it will happen at least once in the marriage.

My advice for those who are having a rough patch. Go through all available avenues to repair the patches. Exhaust them all before making the decision that the road you paved together is no longer the road you want to travel down together.

I hope those couples lately that I do know are able to find what they need to continue on. If not well you are the writer to the end or the beginning of that story yourselves.

Many Milestones of May

What would we do without milestone calendars?  No one can just have one calendar anymore. I certainly don't! From dry erase to daily planner to phone; one just isn't enough. Keeping track of myself plus everyone in line behind me and those in my circus tent. It definitely becomes challenging. Keeping track of major or minor milestones whether you are young or old makes for some interesting times especially at this time of year.

It hardly seems possible next month is 37 years since high school graduation. As I keep track on Facebook with many of those school friends, many of us have busy lives. Some married high school sweethearts, others had a second chance with a high school love, others have remained single and loving it. Still other's have passed on to heaven way to soon. But many are truly successful in every way.  Looking back I am sure none of us would look forward in time and think our lives would be what they are today. My hopes, dreams and milestones of those long ago years were not at all what my life turned out. Lots of surprises, twists and turns its been a ride to say the least.

Graduation Banning High School 1979 with friend Kim (Bury) Vinal

Whether it be graduating through years of school or just special milestones in life the milestones bring a flood of emotions and memories abound.

The journey through education has begun also for two of my grandchildren. Our oldest finished Kindergarten and our second oldest finished her first year of preschool. Both have come so far it is boggling to the mind. If I can see anything in my crystal ball I hope they both become successful, strong, opinionated (they are both on track with that last trait already) young women who follow whatever dreams they have in life.

Hadleigh 2016 Kindergarten Ms. LaCasse

Greenlee first and last day of Preschool 2016

 Summer for many was usually always a time of moving on too new places and adventures.

 A new friend recently retired from many years of teaching and molding young minds. Her excitement in turning over a new leaf in life has been refreshing. You never truly can expect what will happen as you put your hand on that door knob of life. Turning left or right you just forge on and hope good things are on the other side. I venture though that she will do just spectacular things.

We all have those moments in time where we may question our reasons. I have had many and will probably still continue to question some of the things and the outcomes that have occurred. Some of my milestone moments have been life changing, others well are yet to be determined I suspect.

Whatever May brings beside flowers, warmer weather and times of reflection only a few more days of May remain..Make them milestone moments.

Giving Credit, Where Credit is Due

Our society today is filled with giving everyone a trophy syndrome. Participation trophy's just for putting on the uniform or hat. When I competed in my first figure skating competition at 16, I came in first place. I like to think the reason I placed first was due to hard work, a clean program, and lots and lots of practice. I picked out my own music, helped in the making of my costume so needless to say I was very hands on in the entire process. Yes it took a village.  My mom did the sewing of my blue costume, I took lessons from a wonderful coach and I spent hours and hours of preparation for my first competition. I pushed myself into competing, it wasn't my parents pushing although they initially started me in the sport.  I was at 16 years old mature enough to make the decision that it was time to show what I had learned over the many years of practice.

Figure skating taught me many lessons in life that I continue to carry today. Although it is a sport with many opportunities to either skate and or compete individually, pairs, and also as a team, each entity of the sport has its own advantages and disadvantages. My choices were individually and also as part of a team. Although in individual skating you really only have yourself to blame if you did not skate well usually. Blaming your coach, the ice surface, your equipment sometimes can be the culprit-really you are responsible for the final outcome to a point, the judging and popular opinion take it from there.

As in sports your personal and professional life runs into similar situations also. 

I have been experiencing many strange Manic Monday moments that have seemed to take over the entire week for up until recently every week for almost two months. From Corporate America's crumbling communications with its clients to other small businesses taking on more than they can handle and you being the go-to-person for damage control; juggling both of these situations has been in one word: challenging. Add on running our business, daily family scenarios, helping with fundraising for a community organization,  and attending a long-weekend event recently that I had intended being all fun and no issues; well it didn't quite meet those expectations. unfortunately.

Struggling with issues is definitely not something I do well. I sometimes find that just taking a shower and hearing the water run is my only peace of the day.  Taking up yoga 10 months ago has definitely helped--a little, but lets give credit where credit is due; life can be extremely difficult these days!

If you are not positive Polly, happy Harriet, or smiling Sarah well your just not someone people want to be around.  I look at people who are overly positive with much wonder. I guess hiding behind that rainbow poncho helps keep the negativity away. Also trying to find "moments" that create those positive moments can also be challenging.

I actually started this post several days ago and after having a few glitch moments and a few positive sprinkles left and right: finishing a couple books, babysitting youngest grandson, helped just a bit.

Yesterday I came across a post on Facebook about a 90 year old woman that was very well known in the skating world who had passed away recently.

 Many in my skating circle had competed with her over the years and I actually competed with her daughter a few times. I watched a few videos that had been posted on Facebook at her last competition she had been in 2015 and she still nailed it.

 I have to give her credit, she stuck with what she loved, continued to forge ahead and in the end she will be remembered as someone who loved the sport her whole life. I may not always have those same opportunities I did in figure skating to express my abilities but the memories are fantastic and life continues on.

  

International Women's Day 2016--Where We Have Been, Where we Are Going

As my story goes, I was too busy celebrating International Women's Day with my multitude of daily activities that my focus on finishing my post for the day wasn't completed.(I went to my first Book Club experience, and what an experience it was!) So I had to go into Day 2 with my thoughts and feelings for how my day progressed. One thing I noticed was my life was filled with information left and right and I attempted to absorb it all to the best of my ability. As women today we try and process things from every direction, gather it all together and at the end of the day hopefully process all that was given. Having said that.......

Well it is 2016. We are deep into the political arena for the race for a new President. Yes, we are down to one female candidate. The litany of mudslinging gets worse as the time gets closer. We have come a long way from the day when American activists such as Alice Paul, Susan B. Anthony and hundreds of other women throughout the world paved the way for the women of today. Yes we have made some changes in the last ninety plus years in not only the United States and the world, but we still have a long way to go baby!

Today, March 8 is designed International Women's Day. In a time we designate each day something new: National Donut Day, National Grandparent's Day, National Eat Your Green Vegetables Day (I don't know if that day is actually designated but I am sure someone will add it to the list) Every day is an important day for one reason or the other. Personally, my day was filled with snippets of just about everything imaginable.

Women today have a plate full of duties that seems to never end either by choice or by life's requirements. Looking back at women's history, especially reading many articles over the past 24 hours many words come to mind but my favorite is--resilience. When at a point in history you think it may be lost on deaf ears it comes back with a vengeance.

A post on the Times Magazine Facebook page reflected on how March became Women's History Month. Although February 28, 1909 was one of the first notable dates, in more recent history Former President, Jimmy Carter signed a proclamation declaring March 2-8, 1980 Women's History Week. A variety of sites such as The Women's Rights National Historic Park, Alice Paul Institute and the National Women's History provides a vast amount of information about women's history and insight into the thousands of women who have made a difference in the world today because of struggles they experienced.

I randomly came across a poem called "A Strong Woman vs. A Woman of Strength by Luke Easter. Take a moment to read it. I am sure you might find something in it that either you believe, you have witnessed or maybe something you aspire to in your life.

I compiled this list several years ago as an informational sheet while in charge of a women's organization speaker event. When you take the time to look at just these 100 women you can add so many more to this list of inspirational females. Many of these women broke barriers and the new generation will break down even more. Jennifer Lawrence, Emma Watson and Patricia Arquette are just a few recently in the news and I am sure you can come up with your own 100 List of Ladies who are an inspiration.

This is the thing about women our lists are endless in what we have accomplished and can accomplish, don't be silent--In this situation, "silence is NOT golden".

100 Influential, Famous and Infamous Women in History

1. Esther (Bible)
2. Amelia Earhart
3. Anne Frank
4. Helen Keller
5. Anne Sullivan
6. Mother Theresa
7. Martha Washington
8. Susan B. Anthony
9. Rosa Parks
10. Joan of Arc
11. Sonja Henie
12. Lilian Gish
13. Kate Smith
14. Ella Fitzgerald
15. Martha Stewart
16. Maribel Vinson  (figure skating)
17. Eleanor Roosevelt
18. Danielle Steel
19. J K Rowlings
20. Madonna
21. Annie Oakley
22. Peggy Fleming
23. Jackie Kennedy
24. Barbara Walters
25. Charlotte Bronte
26. Helen Gurley Brown
27. Geraldine Ferraro
28. Babe Didrickson Zaharias (sports, track, golf)
29. Oprah Winfrey
30. Danica Patrick   (auto racing)
31. Diane Sawyer
32. Esther Williams
33. Alice Paul
34. Nancy Pelosi
35. Betty Grable
36. Lucille Ball
37. Bonnie Parker
38. Marie Pasteur
39. Dorothy Hamill
40. Clara Barton
41. Shirley Muldoney  (first female drag racer)
42. Marie Antoniette
43. Gloria Allred
44. Gloria Steineim
45. Liu Yang    (first Chinese astronaut)
46. Louisa Mae Alcott
47. Shirley Temple
48. Libby Riddles  (1985 First Iditarod Champion)
49. Wilma Rudolph
50. Madeline Albright
51. Mary Kay Ash
52. Debbi Fields  (Mrs. Fields Cookie founder)
53. Carrie Chapman Catt
54. Christa McAuliffe
55. Queen Noor of Jordan
56. Pocahantas
57. Sally Ride
58. Sara Blakely  (Spanx founder)
59. Bethanny Frankel
60. Josephine Baker
61. Angela Merkel  (German Chancellor)
62. Indira Gandhi
63. Cathy Rigby
64. Billie Jean King
65. Deborah Simpson (first female military service)
66. Dilma Rousseff ( first Brazil president)
67. Deila Hasket Rawson (first female letter carrier)
68. Mary Kies (first woman receive U.S. patent 1809)
69. Lettie Pate Whitehead (first to serve on board of directors Coke)
70. Betty Ford
71. Hillary Clinton
72. Florence Nightingal
73. Dolly Madison
74. Marissa Meyer  (Yahoo CEO)
75. Marie Curie
76. Elizabeth Taylor
77. Grace Kelly
78. Charlotte Cooper (first Wimbeldon winner)
79. Norma McCorvey (Roe vs. Wade)
80. Cleopatra
81. Anne Boleyn
82. Clara Boothe Luce
83. Susanna Madora Salter(first woman Mayor KS 1887)
84. Marie Ruoff Bryum (first woman to vote 1920 MO)
85. Molly Williams (first female firefighter 1815 NY slave)
86. Mabel Fairbanks      (1^st Black Professional Figure Skater)
87. Emily Dickinson
88. Sandra Day O’Conner
89. Jane Goodall
90. Hedda Hopper        (Hollywood Gossip Columnist)
91. Eva Peron           
92. Alice Stebbins Wells   (1910 1^st Los Angeles Police Officer)
93. Margaret Thatcher
94. Erin Brockovich
95. Lady Diana Spencer
96. Katie Couric
97. Hazel Palmer  
98. Arabella Mansfield  (1869 First Female Law School Graduate)
99. Mary Katherine Goddard (1777 Postmaster)
100.  Phyllis Diller

Have you Driven 90 MPH?

I was asked this question recently by a friend. "Yes, I said I actually have but it wasn't because I wanted to but I didn't realize I was going that fast". Sometimes I have been told I often have a lead foot, but in all honesty when you have learned to drive in one of the most traffic busy cities you have to go with the flow for sometimes the wrong reasons.

I learned to drive in a rather large 1964 Cadillac. I was one of the oldest driver's in my driver's education class at school. My parents would not allow me to get my license until I was 18 and could pay for my own insurance and buy my own car. Learning responsibility? Yes, it was a hard pill to swallow but looking back I probably wasn't ready to hit the LA roads at 16. Many of my friends did and they are still around to tell about it. I am thankful that I learned on the mean streets of California. I have to say I had a few fender benders in my time; 2 my fault, 1 I wasn't even in the car at the time and one hit by flying debris. I consider myself pretty fortunate since my commute was for a long time 80 miles round trip per day. I got myself into some pretty terrifying predicaments and some Indy style driving helped probably save my life a few times. I witnessed several life changing/driving style changing accidents too. Having said that I look to my now place of residence and state in which I live and shake my head in disbelief, again!

1964 Cadillac

 Our 1984 Corvette and Hadleigh helping wash. 2012

It has been a difficult couple weeks in our community. In the course of a couple weeks we had two young men die way to young due to car accidents.  I am sure as a parent these parents grapple with many things they wished they may have done differently.  Kids think they are indestructible, many push the envelope of life and end up with an empty piece of blood-stained folded paper. Hopefully, whatever the scenario was in these two incidents it will open the eyes of other children, parents and open up a dialog to change MO laws and also the way we drive as individuals.

Back in my horse and buggy days you were required to take driver's education in schools.  Yes, so having read this post I was one of the seniors in the car full of young teenage drivers. It was a part of the school programs at the time and a help to parents who didn't or couldn't or wouldn't teach their kids to drive. My dad took me briefly to quiet industrial areas and taught me but the majority was done by the instructor. Also many driving schools were dotted in my State so there was no option uncovered except maybe those who just didn't want to learn to drive, of which I knew a few. Still shake my head at that also.

A few days after the incidents I was talking to people from several groups and most came back with the same response. Why do they not make it a requirement to go through driver's education for people especially kids to get licensed? A day later an article suddenly appeared in our local paper (Sedalia Democrat) http://bit.ly/1QqvVjR

One of the consistent comments I have heard why parents don't have them take the course is: cost. In our school district it is $180.00. I understand the cost could be a hardship for some people due to economic reasons but my philosophy and I find I have not been alone is "IT IS WORTH IT" If it gives a little extra tools, practice and hours behind the wheel why not? Do without so that it gives you and your child a little extra knowledge of that crazy road out their.Putting an inexperienced person behind the wheel of a vehicle is a major milestone of sorts.

  Both of my kids took the course. I remember asking them having took a similar course if they thought it was worth it and both said yes. I almost think they should go a step further and require all drivers, yes all drivers to take a refresher course. We all tend to forget, the rules of the road and we should welcome it.

You never know when you get in a vehicle these days especially with texting, cellphones etc. what situation you might be faced with. Keep your hands on the wheel, and stay safe. Your life and those around you might depend on it. 

Broken Hearts-Repairing, Renewing, Rejoicing

At this time of year, for many reasons, the heart portrays a significance in many things. Valentine's Day is celebrated and hated by many people. For those who have love in their life it can truly be a wonderful thing. For those who reflect back on a lost love or a broken relationship it can be like sandpaper.

 At our Lent Service this week,  our pastor talked about broken hearts restored. He told of a personal story about as a young student in the seminary and newly married, he gave his wife a heart necklace. It was not the most expensive, but it showed how much he cared and signified their love. As children were born and the years went on that heart was used as a teething object, pulled out of shape by tiny hands but in her eyes it continues to be a treasured piece of her heart over the years. He also spoke about how God wants us broken so that he can repair and renew us.

Hearts are a precious organ and need constant care and nurturing. Since February is Women's Heart Health Month we often get bombarded with everything heart related. Sometimes it is a wake-up call to get things checked out. Women usually have a disadvantage in detection because, frankly doctor's usually do not take it as seriously.  Gotta love that female intuition though!

As teenagers our hearts are really put to the test. Every young person has at least one story, well more than one sometimes, about how a person broke their heart in some way or another. Believe me you will live through it although at the time you think you will never trust or love again. It is all part of growing up. The right one is out their for everyone at some point in life.

I actually received my gift a little earlier than usual. With my hubby being out on the road most Valentine's Day cupid visits through other means. I remember mentioning last year that usually he sends flowers and then unless I take a picture he never gets to enjoy them with me.  This rose came last weekend through the mail via ihatestevesinger.com. The story behind the 24kt. rose is pretty funny.

Love is about, laughter, crying, snuggles, and many, many things. Broken hearts can last a minute or a lifetime. You are the keeper of your heart along with many other special people in your life.

Etiquette-Do We or Don't We?

Etiquette-Definition a code of behavior that delineates (borders or boundaries) expectations for social behavior according to contemporary conventional norms with a society, social class or group. My first thought is what a definition!

As I often comment, all it takes is a conversation or comment and that is how a post begins. At a recent dinner meeting, meals were being served at our table and someone realized they had started eating before everyone else was served. When she commented on how sorry she was for going ahead and eating many of us just had a chuckle with it all.  "What is the etiquette about eating before others are served"? she stated.  This wasn't our first rodeo as they say and we gave her a pass to go ahead. Our group is pretty casual and friendly even though we are professional business women. Checking on-line at one source The Kitchn.com, provide two great suggestions. One, its a judgement call. Check around the table the (one) person still waiting to get her food tells everyone else to go ahead and eat. Another rule, six or fewer at the table should wait until everyone is served. At our next gathering we will try and remember this tip.

I also checked out Ehow.com for some basic etiquette on lapel pin and name tag etiquette which also was brought up. Generally, lapel pins are worn on the left next to your heart. Usually it is often left as a symbolic gesture to the wearer and is not considered a faux pas if worn on the right.  A name tag should be worn on the right side of the chest as it helps with name/face recognition.  My suggestion don't wear too much on your shirt, jacket or tie because then you will be recognized as the human advertisement!

I am not sure how it is in the figure skating world now but usually rink etiquette was in my mind, if they were going faster than you, they got to do whatever they wanted. Truly, at a freestyle session the coach and/or student who had their lesson and music playing had the right-of-way. My mom would often get mad at me because she said I spent more time leaning against the railing then I did skating at times. All bets were usually off at a public skating session. People skated this way and that and you usually hoped that you made it through a session without getting knocked down or skated over. Skating guards were usually the etiquette watchers then.

Back when true social etiquette was an indicator of  wealth and refinement, no move was made without precision, grace and thoughts of others around you.  Today, most people throw caution to the wind and hope that no own is judged in this overly judgemental world in which we live.

Emily Post Institute has a great website and also a Emily's Etiquette Daily on Facebook that has some interesting tips about handling those tough situations we find ourselves faced with.  

When you find yourself on "thin ice" do what comes natural, bend your knees and let whatever happens happen it usually does anyway. To the ladies that were at the dinner table, we always usually have fun at our meetings and throw caution to the wind.