You Can't Go "Home" Again

I am at my halfway point on my two week excursion out to California for the first time in eight years. My how things have changed.. In one week Catalina Island, a 30 year high school reunion, and a trip to Disneyland to name a few...If that doesn't put your mind spinning. (For those who truly know me as a person you will be the only one's who will probably understand this comment)

Unfortunately, I think I like alot of people revert back to old memories and sometimes my expectations are slightly disappointing on how I would wish things to be the same.. Sadly, I know that's not the case anywhere anymore. Nothing can stay the same. Times, people, economics everything must change and move on. I guess I am having a little emotionally charged issue with that.

The term "out of sight, out of mind" keeps reverberating in me. Yes, e-mail and facebook and myspace are the new waves of communications but nothing beats the face-to-face contact with people.

People have asked me "is it different for you?" Oh yes!! The street names are the same and I have not gotten lost but only a few memorable landmarks still remain in a few places for me. The melting pot has gotten way to complicated for me and something I am glad I don't have to deal with quiet as much in small town America. Many friends have asked me "would I move back again?" I wouldn't mind short trips for a little "CA fix" but I can't believe I have to admit I think I have learned to enjoy the quiet back where we live...Those who I know back in my MO home are probably going to say "I told you so" and I will admit it.

I guess I just won't wait maybe as long to come out to visit, but sadly I don't think I could live here full-time again. I think maybe what I have gotten out of this trip up to this point is, not everything is always the way it seems (people and places included)..

It has been an experience and the good with the bad I am glad I have been able to come.. What doesn't kill me will make me stronger... I know enough with the quotes but...hey it seems to be what I'm coming up with to sum up this experience so far.....