We Are What We Wear-Or Are We?

On a recent program feature about the type of clothes you wear and how they effect your life there was one statement that made me stop and think. We learn from an early age about the clothes we like and how they make us feel comfortable or how we want to be perceived. I do agree a little about this but it also made me think how times have changed drastically on clothing in general.

As a child most of my clothes were home-made. Both my mother and grandmother knew how to sew, so all of my clothes were not bought in a store. Sewing is a lost art in today's busy world. It also takes a lot of patience. Frankly, I have sewn very few items because my patience level is extremely low. At the time I disliked having clothes that were not bought in a store, because most of my friends didn't have home made clothes. Wow how many times have we not heard that saying today!

I also remember how excited I was to make my first purchase at age 12 of store bought pants. Dittos were the "in thing" in pants at a time. I had one pink and one blue pair. I remember being so excited going to school and feeling like I was just like everyone else. Times have not changed much in that respect that we want to fit in.

We usually are told to look for clothes that we like and sometimes that isn't always what we should be wearing. Years ago a co-worker and I were going shopping for a jumpsuit that I wanted to find for a very special date I was going on. I still remember her picking out a black stripped suit that at first I thought just looking at it wasn't for me, but once I put it on it was completely different on me than on the hanger. I still hear her voice in my ear sometimes when I pick out clothes. Unfortunately, now I am older but usually still gravitate to a younger look.

Climate and geography also has a big influence on what we wear. I used to wear light, clothing and only had a light jacket. Where I currently live it is sometimes very hard to find clothes that are fashionable. I also have several large, heavy coats due to the cold weather, My area is geared more to rural living and practicality more than fashion. If it's not jeans, boots and a tee shirt you probably won't find it at a local store. Driving one to two hours to a mall has become routine. Is it unfortunate to drive miles and sometimes states away just so you can have something different in your wardrobe.

Women are usually more fashion savvy than men. When I first met my husband his wardrobe was brown corduroy pants, brown boots and a brown shirt. He really had no color wheel when it came to clothing. Over the years, since I buy his clothes he has come to enjoy a new color and comment that he looks really good in that outfit. I like to say he cleans up well since he usually wears jeans and a polo shirt for his work dress.

I find that it becomes more and more difficult to find clothes that I enjoy. As I get older I want more comfort but still want something that makes me feel good, no matter my age. Not that I want to be that hot older lady, but I am sure I won't be too conservative either.

I like to think I enjoy fashion, I like color, variety and comfort like the next person but I also like to make a little of a fashion statement within reason.

As Mother's Day Approaches

Time certainly does fly. It doesn't seem possible that it is already May. I also have to admit that this is probably the first year in a very long time that Mother's Day has quickly approached for me without a second thought. Then the advertising and commercials for flowers, and other items comes on the radio or television and it makes me go back what seems like a lifetime ago.

It doesn't seem at all possible that 18 years has gone by since I found my birth mother and family. Although the process of searching has become more simplified with technology, now information can be but keystrokes away. Seven years of leads, letters, more research, false hopes and then a simple blind letter to an address changed my life forever. I'm not sure I was fully prepared for what was yet to come at the time, but everything since then has changed my perspective on a lot of issues on so many levels.

I have a binder marked Adoption that has every piece of information leading to a life that took me to many different places. Some pleasant, some not so pleasant. My search went from a bittersweet meeting to just being content knowing where I came from but that binder holds the keys to where I came from. A little bizarre when you really think that a binder can hold the key to a life.

I am asked frequently whether it was worth it all. In a word, Yes it was. I would rather live in truth then to live my life with lies and half truths. To coin a saying that my husbands absolutely hates, "It is what it is". Sometimes the truth hurts, I have found that out a lot too. I always love the part in "A Few Good Men". "The truth, you can't handle the truth". Many people can't handle what they perceive to be true. I will admit I haven't always handled all the information well but it is a part of my history and somethings you just can't change.

Sometimes I hate to admit that I am more like my family members than I care too. This is probably why our communications with each other is almost non-existent. Everybody handles there "truth" different. I also have to say because I was raised by another family I also picked up a lot of those family traits which sometimes helped me get through my process.

Today adoption is such an different and can be a more open process, much more than it was long ago. Probably for good reasons. Now the process usually takes more consideration of what the child may need in the present and later in their future.

I am a part of a time when adoption was a hush-hush, sweep under the rug event. Secrets don't always stay hidden and I don't believe it does anyone involved justice to be secretive. I found that be protective most of my early life probably did more harm than good.

I have never asked or wanted the pity some want to give me for having been adopted. I do admit I am lucky to have been born. I'm not sure I agree with some people who are adopted considering themselves special in being picked by their parents. It probably is true for some but sometimes I am not sure that all parents truly know what they are taking on adopting a child. Having a child and giving away or keeping to raise yourself always has its pitfalls. It's never easy, no book can tell you everything and all you can do is hope your decisions will be right for them.

Even in the 1960's women could decide to have a back room abortion. I am thankful my mother chose not too. Although debated, I am also glad today women have a choice, not always politically or morally correct, until you walk in a women's shoes and know what the situations are no woman should be told what they are to do. It's a personal decision.

Thank you Mom for having the strength to put me up for adoption, thank you to my Mom and Dad for raising me the best way they knew how, thank you to all my grandmother's for being special ladies in my life. Thank you to all Mom's everywhere. Mother's Day is not just one day a year, it is 365 days a year.

Lessons Learned

With less than a week left as President of our Business Women's Group I am reflecting on the year that I am leaving behind me. What a year it has been!

It wasn't enough that I was stepping way out of a comfort zone and taking on a task that I was not sure about. It has definitely been an experience of learned lessons. Some expected and some not expected or surprised at the outcome.

I think the biggest lesson I have learned is some people are just not comfortable moving forward. Technology, new ideas, and just changing what has been done for years hinders that process a lot. I am not a personality type that just goes with the flow. If I set my mind to doing a task I want to complete that task the best way I can. But, if you don't have an entire group behind you it is a far harder situation to complete.

I set some high goals and expectations at the beginning and I feel I definitely scared off a lot of people either due to my approach, some would call it western bias or just the fact that our group has taken a turn in another direction. I would have loved to been able to run with my ideas but it seems they were only my ideas and a few others. The majority of the women are happy just sticking to their current rulebook. Unfortunately, that limits our group and will eventually change in the wrong direction.

A big thank you to those who wanted changes and we did make a few. Some said little steps are better than no steps at all. This possibly is true but you have to listen and sometimes I felt I was talking on deaf ears. You can't please everyone, but its not about pleasing its about changing with results. At some point I realized your really not hurting me but hurting the group in general.

It was an experience and I hand things over to a very capable woman. I look forward to seeing what's on my horizon and I am enlightened by the experience.

The Best is Yet to Come

I seem to remember this statement in a song by Frank Sinatra but also this was a part of the Easter story at church today.

I find myself grappling frequently with my religious beliefs and it usually takes a anecdotal story to make me feel a little bit better and make me think a little harder about what I truly believe. With society and the world issues what they have been lately it sometimes makes you feel defeated. Every time the shoe drops you wonder what is going to happen next! Yes I know some of you will say this is just life, but we all have to admit life gets harder and harder to function through.

Today at church, pastor told a story about an elderly lady who loved Easter, spending time with family and having a wonderful meal on the big day. After everyone would finish eating the main meal she would never forget to tell them to keep there fork because "the best was yet to come". So it was rather fitting when this lady passed on to heaven she was buried not with a flower or religious symbol in her hand but a fork. Many at her funeral had a brief chuckle because they knew what that fork meant to her.

Easter was always enjoyable as a child. I always got dressed in my spring dress, with a hat, new shoes and knowing that after church I could hunt for easter eggs and hopefully receive a basket with some goodies inside. I passed on that tradition when my kids were little. Next year I am sure we will color eggs, hunt for them and continue that tradition with our grandchildren.

I guess it is true "the best is yet to come" both for future Easters and when we go to the next life. Happy Easter everyone!!

Earth Day-Green Day Go Hand in Hand

We have a lot of holidays and special days in a calendar year. Birthdays of Presidents, family members (of course they are only considered national holidays to those who have them) Thanksgiving, Christmas, St. Patrick's Day well you get the idea.

But one day that seems to get more and more attention with the popularity of recycling, being green or whatever term you choose to use is Earth Day. With the advent of technology; recycling, or being "green" has become second nature to many people around the country/world.

I can remember growing up that we experienced several water shortages in California. I guess to be fair my Dad was a early pioneer of our families recycling projects. We caught water when it did rain in barrels and recycled the water from the washing machine to flush our toilets. We also used our bathwater too. To some that sounds horrible but to him it was a way of life. When we weren't allowed to water our yards we used the water to rinse the dishes. We didn't use the clothes dryer very often but hung the clothes on the line in the yard.

My grandparents did a garden every year until my grandfather got sick and could no longer do so. Every summer from age 12-14 I walked around the neighborhood with a friend and collected aluminum cans, and that extra money paid for the extra school clothes that I wanted to buy on my own.

I was used to recycling cans and plastic regularly so when we moved to Missouri in 1997 and found that there wasn't a program in Sedalia I was shattered. I felt guilty every time I threw any recycled item into the trash and thought what a waste that they picked up trash two days a week. Up until they finally did start a program here in town recently I would recycle items an since I knew that they did recycle were my son lives (an hour away) I would cart items when I went to visit him. Too some that sounds stupid but it gave me the piece of mind that I was doing something.

Everyone needs to go to their local landfill and see what we throw away. It is sad. Call it western bias as an editorial in our local paper stated this week; people are just too lazy to take what becomes second nature to do. It is actually very simple.

When I wrote down all that I personally recycle I was pretty proud: tin cans, plastics, cardboard, cloth shopping bags (most of the time in lieu of plastic) I have several items that I take to a office they give to early childhood participants(oatmeal containers, papertowel/toilet paper holders, old frames,)all junk mail is shredded and all recycled, I am considering composting for my container garden, the list can go on and on.

Another goal this year is to replace a tree I had to get rid of with another. Whatever little amount adds up and for me it makes me feel like I am doing my part..Shouldn't you be part of Earth/Green Day too?

Every Book Can Still Tell a Story

It doesn't matter how long the information super highway grows, there will always be a need or yearning to hold a book of any kind in one's hands. At least there will be in mine. I haven't jumped to purchase a kindle, nook or whatever the new devise is called. I love to go and walk through bookstores and also through my local library. Aisle after aisle in total silence. Be it author, picture or by a recommendation there is something about turning each page and wondering what will come next, the smell of the paper and the feel between your fingers to me is relaxing.

So on tonight's news it touched my heart to see a story about a young man of eighty named Bill Strong.

Books who have been in families for generations and generations or not. He takes his variety of tools and supplies and revitalizes books for many more generations to come. Thank you Mr. Strong for the work you do. Go to www.strongbookrepair.com and read his interview that appeared in Princeton Town Topics.

Life back to the written word. Isn't it wonderful.

Cars-Young and Old

A slow television weekend. Unless you are a basketball lover, golf, car racing (I don't mind the car racing) but wasn't really in the mood to watch fast cars go round and round. While channel surfing I stopped at a program I hadn't seen before called Desert Car Kings on the Discovery Channel. The thing that caught my eye was that they were refurbishing a 1950 Cadillac 4-door. I grew up around alot of Cadillac's.

My dad would trade one of his in almost every year, and we usually piled into the caddy and I got to see him wheel and deal. Although we never had a 1950 the oldest one we did have was a 1961. It was a beautiful Ocean Blue metallic with slightly smaller "swim fins" much smaller than the earlier models had.

My first car was a 1964 Cadillac. I think now to that car only because I can't even imagine how much it would cost to fill that tank. with gas. I have to say it was a pretty reliable car and sometimes I wish I had been able to keep it.

Desert Car Kings is located in Phoenix, Arizona and is actually a family run auction house. The patriarch of the family wanted to refurbish his 1950's find and auction it for at least the cost of the refurbishment. It was interesting some of the little known facts to me that I learned.

The great lady hood ornament was later replaced with the Cadillac crest. Polished steel was later replaced with chrome. The final refurbished cost was a little over $10,000. Not bad since some of the parts were hard to find or replace and the engine had to replaced with a 1961 model.

In the end he couldn't bring himself to auction it off because his wife had a sentimental attachment to it because her Dad owned one. So they drove away in her
39Th Anniversary present.

They definitely don't build them like they used too. Today car's can park themselves, (who has to pay when you tell someone "I didn't hit your car, it was driving itself?"), we can now talk on the phone through our car speakers, we definitely can not fix them ourselves like we used to since they are all computerized.

Well times change, cars change. I do have to say I do like the new Cadillac in the local dealership, but wouldn't be able to come up with the $68,000 to buy it. I can't imagine my Dad would want to fork over that much either.