Christmas with Santa 2006

Memories of Christmas, for which I have many. One that is a most cherished one as a parent happened just a few years ago. I have always believed the old saying "a picture is worth a 1,000 words". I like to think with all the pictures we took while the kids were growing up, the many trips we took and events that needed to be captured that maybe that was why our daughter Jennifer wanted to become a photographer.

But one infamous picture that eluded us every year was the picture with Santa Claus. The first Christmas related photo taken was when Matthew was not even 2 months old. It was our first surprise trip to MO to introduce him to his grandparents. Of course I had to find his first Christmas outfit which was the ever popular Christmas onesie with a matching cap. We propped him on our couch and low and behold his first holiday photo was captured.

Every year we would dress both kids in holiday clothes and trek either to the mall or some early function that would include a Santa. But alas our time spent in long lines was always for not because immediately the kids would back away from the bearded one. So needless to say not one kids with Santa picture.

Each year I would bring up this fact and finally it happened. Both kids got together and surprised me with my first Santa picture. Of course they were 20 and 21 respectively, but the point is they thought enough (and probably were tired of hearing from mom) that I didn't have a picture.

Christmas morning 2006 I opened the most precious gift they could have ever given me. Add the tears and repeat of the story from them. (They met at the mall and walked right up amongst the tiny tots, parents and others and told Santa there story that there poor mother never got a picture of them with Santa. They said that Santa and his elves got a real kick, and some interesting glances from those waiting for there turn) but hey it makes me think of the Hallmark commercial "When you care enough, to give the very best" and my two did.....

Thanksgiving Memories

With turkey day only a few short days away I am reliving some of my fondest Thanksgiving memories. For my first 17 thanksgiving memories it was pretty much routine. My parents, one set of grandparents and myself. The five of us alternated either at our house or my grandparents who lived only a stones throw away in CA. We always had turkey and all the usual fixings. Always a weeks worth of turkey pot pie after and turkey sandwiches and then more turkey for Christmas. I really only have one unfortunate mishap that if my mind can remember was the year after my grandpa died (then there were 4). That year my grandma was in charge of pumpkin pies and bless her heart she forgot to put the sugar in them. No one said a word (until several years later) and we slowly ate the interesting tasting dessert. God love her if that was the only mistake she ever made, I miss her still.

When I married David almost 25 years ago our Thanksgiving events were usually spent at his aunt's house (the number was always more than 10 but less than 25 usually, what a change from my small family) since his parents lived here in MO and we only came out during the Christmas holidays. One year we actually winged it on our own just the 4 of us and I cooked the meal at our home. We managed to capture a picture of that event, I think the kids were probably about five and six years old. It was so nice just to have that small group.

The only other catastrophe's I can think of over the years was one year I actually forgot to take the baggy of "special items" out of the turkey. Hasn't everyone. And the year after we moved to MO I accidentally poured boiling potatoes on my arm a few days before Thanksgiving, what a way to get out of cooking. A trip to emergency room and dipping my hand/arm in cold solution and wrapping it wasn't a picnic.

Then after I found my biological family we alternated holiday meals. Our last holidays in CA we hosted and had everyone over, it was definitely bittersweet because some of them I never were able to see again.

This year I'm doing part of the cooking and my mother-in-law will do what she can. We have so much to be thankful for, her cancer is better this year than last, and things are going well (for the most part for everyone else). We added a daughter-in-law and family to the mix. I have a truly wonderful husband I can't live without, some friends that I couldn't do without.

I promise not to eat to much but still enjoy what I have.

Updating Our "To Do" Lists

I have come to the point in the year where the holidays have almost snuck up on me without notice. NOT! In the back of my mind I am always thinking ahead to what needs to be done. As I am posting I am working on my Thanksgiving cooking "to do" list. Hence a never ending "To Do" list is always within my reach at all times. I also have a "honey to do" list for David. It's actually pretty short this time because we got so much done the last time, and you know he is ecstatic about that.

For the first time in many, many years my Christmas "To Do" list is almost finished already. I think what helped progress this list along was the fact that we decided (I guess the economy helped us decide) to be more realistic in our gift spending this year. Actually it has gotten out of hand over the years, but we vowed to keep it simple. It helps to have grown children and no grandchildren to help sway purchase power.

As I have gotten older I catch myself doing not only a daily "to do" list but a weekly "to do" check list to make sure that I am on track. Oh how it really helps when you have so much on your plate plus keeping track of everyone around you. Does it ever end?? Probably not which brings me to why I thought of this topic.

I have seen author Dave Freeman on Oprah who wrote "100 Things To Do Before You Die" who passed away back in August after a long illness. I have wanted to read his book and it is on my "To Read" list (this list gets bigger and bigger it seems). It made me reflect again on things you always wanted to do but never either have the money or time to do. Let's be realistic here though some you put on the list you probably won't get to ever do and making a list of 100 things seems way out of reach, but I have jotted down the things I have already accomplished and I feel pretty proud. A few that come to mind..

Taking a dog sledding trip in Alaska
Finding my adoptive family (it took seven years to accomplish)
Going to Graceland (my grandpa was a Elvis fan)
Volunteering for Meals on Wheels on behalf of my grandma
See the volcanoes in Hawaii

There is still a laundry list of things I would like "to do".. which includes:

Drive a race car
Ride in a hot-air balloon
Go to Europe
Eat snails (I came close a couple times)
Learn to swim (maybe someday if the fear of water subsides)

I guess the point is it's never to late to dust off your "to do" list and from what I have heard Dave Freeman was able to accomplish several on his list of 100. Let's be Thankful for what we have, and remember anything can be accomplish if we only put our mind to it.

What is Our Destiny?

Each week when I have enough energy to attend church (almost every week) I always look forward to what the sermon might be. Our new pastor has made efforts to bring something each week that will make us take thought, and maybe grow spiritually. Some hit home, other's go foul for me but today was a first in all of the years I have attended church.

What is our Destiny? I know I hope that I go to heaven. I'm not perfect by any stretch of the word and I also know that how we get to heaven depends on much more. I have made many mistakes over the years, and have also learned from a lot of those mistakes I have made. I try to think before I speak, (Not always easy for those who know me), I try not to judge (another thing that is hard sometimes and a work always in progress).

I looked the definition up in the dictionary and several made me take pause. 1-The inevitable or necessary fate to which a particular person or thing is determined; one's lot 2-The preordained or inevitable course of events considered as something beyond the power or control of man (or woman) 3 fate. (Wow how many times have I used fate as a reason)

There was also a quote by Robert Burton "Marriage and hanging go by destiny". Wow I think if I had my choice marriage would be better than a hanging. I always say it was fate that brought David and I together. Even after over 25 years together I find I learn more and more everyday.

Fate for me has always been a factor in my life for as long as I can remember. will get into that another time.

But getting back to the sermon, pastors' basic message was hopefully each one of us our destiny will be to go to heaven. Almost at the end of the sermon pastor made a comment that every persons destiny is different and today one of our parishioners destiny is to sleep through his sermon. (We have several who sometimes take a little catnap but pastor actually called this person out by name). Some chuckles and some I think maybe embarrassment by some of his family members but nothing serious. This was a first for me!

As we left church and each one of us shook hands with pastor I told him in all the years of attending church this was a first for me that someone got called out for sleeping. He laughed and said that he knew he could get away with it with this gentlemen.

I myself remember many times falling asleep as a child, and truth be told I have almost nodded off myself.

Our destiny, we all have a part in what path we take. My road has had many roadblocks, I've tried to keep my path smooth but sometimes I am not always in control of my life's destiny. I can only hope that someday I will end my journey where all the other special people in my life have hopefully ended there journey too.

Adoption-Truths and Lies

I am in the middle of reading Barbara Walters book "Audition" a Memoir. Over the years like alot of people I have watched her specials and yes I do watch "The View" when I get a chance. I don't always agree with any of them on the show but that's the joy of watching. It does make you take notice sometimes. Anyway I have gotten to the chapter in her book that covers her daughter Jackie's life which she said was the hardest chapter to write.

She adopted her at a time when the adoption process was kept quiet both for the biological mother and the adoptive family. (I can relate to this) Her daughter has never wanted to know who gave her up which is a chose alot of adoptees make (but one that I didn't).'

One quote her daughter makes in the book hit close to home for me being adopted. She said, "Almost every adopted child feels a sense of loss and suffers from an "inner abandonment" something she thinks every adopted child lives with. I totally agree with this. It doesn't matter if you find out at a young age or at 28 years old like I did. No matter how much you go over it in your mind, it is what it is. Whether it was " in your best interest" or not it is almost always interpreted as abandonment.

It seems as though Barbara Walters' daughter has made her adjustments, she had some rough years like we all did, some later than others but she has made her peace too it seems.

I am still a work in progress, I am not sure I will ever "make my peace". I have come to the conclusion after almost 16 years after "my find" that no family is perfect, they are who they are, you except them with the flaws and try to go on with the life you have made the best you can, with them or without them.

At this point, most of the important characters in my saga are now gone: my biological mother and grandmother, and the one's the are still around have there own problems trying to cope with life as they choose to live it with the baggage they have collected over the years.


I feel sad they aren't a part of my life but some I had to make the choice to keep out of my life and other's made the choice for me. If any of them happen to read this, (which I doubt they will) I love them, wish them luck in their lives and can only hope instead of living in the past they could live in what future we could have..

A Penny for Your Thoughts Plus a Little Extra

I know we have all heard the adage "A Penny for Your Thoughts" or if you find a penny on the sidewalk face up it means "Good Luck" or "A Gift from an Angel" even "A Penny Saved is a Penny Earned" which by today we all should probably be taking alot more serious. Recently an old friend of mine sent me an e-mail story that I had never heard of but after reading it I won't think twice about picking up a penny ever again. So read on and see what you think.....

A friend and her husband were invited to spend the weekend at the husband's employer's home. My friend was nervous about the weekend. The boss was very wealth, with a fine home on the waterfront, and cars costing more than their home.

The first day and evening went well, and she was delighted to have this rare glimpse into how the very wealthy live. The husband's employer was quite generous as a host, and took them to the finest restaurants. She new she would never have the opportunity to indulge in this kind of extravagance again, so was enjoying herself immensely.

As the three of them were about to enter an exclusive restaurant that evening , the boss was walking slightly ahead of her and her husband. He stopped suddenly, looking down on the pavement for a long, silent moment.

She wondered if she was supposed to pass him. There was nothing on the ground except a single darkened penny that someone had dropped, and a few cigarette butts. Still silent, the man reached down and picked up the penny.

He held it up and smiled, then put in in his pocket as if he had found a great treasure. How absurd! What need did this man have for a single penny? Why would he even take the time to stop and pick it up?

Throughout dinner, the entire scene nagged at her. Finally, she could stand it no longer. She casually mentioned that her daughter once had a coin collection, and asked if the penny he had found had been of some value.

A smile crept across the man's face as he reached into his pocket for the penny and held it out for her to see. She has seen many pennies before! What was the point of this?

"look at it". He said. "Read what it says?" She reads the words, "United States of America".

"No, not that, read further" he said.

"One cent?" "No, keep reading".

"In God We Trust?" "Yes" and,

"And if I trust in God, the name of God is holy, even on a coin". Whenever I find a coin I see that inscription. It is written on every single United States coin, but we never seem to notice it! God drops a message right in front of me telling me to trust him? Who am I to pass it by? When I see a coin, I pray, I stop to see if my trust IS in God at that moment. I pick the coin up as a response to God; that I do trust in him. Fr a short time, at least, I cherish it as if it were gold. I think it is God's way of starting a conversation with me. Lucky for me, God is patient and pennies are plentiful!

When I was out shopping today, I found a penny on the sidewalk. I stopped and picked it up, and realized that I had been worrying and fretting in my mind about things I cannot change. I read the words, "In God We Trust" and I had to laugh. Yes, God, I get the message.

It seems that I have been finding an inordinate number of pennies in the last few months, but then, pennies are plentiful! And, God is patient.

Thought for the Day: If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. If he had a wallet, your photo would be in it. He send you flowers every spring. He sends you a sunrise every morning, whether we can see it or not. God didn't promise days without paint, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but he did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way. If God brings you to it, he will being you through it.

I especially like the last part. We have an old glass water bottle that we have had for many years that whenever we have pennies we dump inside of it. I wouldn't be able to even guess how many we have so I like to think maybe without even realizing it I have been saving all God's blessings for a rainy day....

Alzheimer's Unconditional Love- My Friend Linda Fisher

First, this week I have a feeling will be a time of daily blogging for me. I have alot to cover.

I had the distinct pleasure of accompanying one of my favorite people and a great friend, author and literally a woman of many hats last night to one of her speaking engagements on a topic that is close to her heart that only she can express.

Linda Fisher is deeply involved in Alzheimer's in many ways. She has written much about it, been a spearhead in the chapter in our area, has been to Washington D.C. countless times to push for the rights of those with the disease and the families affected by it. I know she is not done with her fight on behalf of one special person that she lost to this unkind disease. Her husband Jim was taken much to young, at the age of 59 after 10 years of a brave battle with Alzheimer's. I never had the chance to meet him but have heard many stories and can recommend any of her writings that tells deep, poignant memories of a past that was quickly erased from the love of her life. He couldn't ask for a better spokeswoman and I guess you can tell she has become a special person to me.

Her Alzheimer's Anthology of Unconditional Love-The 110,000 Missourian with Azheimer's was a work of love not only from her but for those who submitted the stories to make this book possible. When I bought my copy her inscription to me was "Cindy, Blessings as you read these true stories". I have since supported Linda and other's by walking in two Memory Walks.

My connection to this disease is small. My aunt on my adoptive grandma's side died from it in the late 70's when the title "Alzheimer's" really wasn't used. Today David's aunt has battled with it for several years and each day it takes a little bit away from someone who always gave of herself without thinking.

Each day that I forget where I put something or repeat myself in a story, I can only hope this disease will never be a closer part of my life.

Linda you are an angel and your "prince" appreciates all you did for him when he couldn't and what you still provide to those around you..... Love ya

Girl's Day Out-Erin Brockovich "Stick-to-it-ive-ness"

A friend and I had a great opportunity to attend another BPW chapter's event this past weekend. It was a Women's Expo sponsored by there club and the keynote speaker was Erin Brockovich. Yes the real Erin Brockovich not Julie Roberts. No Julie Roberts looked nothing like the real person but from the interviews I have seen over the years and the way the real Erin described herself, it seems as though the personalities could be the same.

A real inspirational story she told about her life from growing up in Kansas, two failed marriages, 3 young children to raise on her own, and the struggle to "do right" that the film portrayed. She has definitely went through the trials and tribulations but her "15 minutes of fame" has now seemed to brought her to a great place.

She told about an "ahh moment" that basically was the center of the story in the movie that pretty much seemed to bring her life full circle for her. She passed along a story about an incident that happened when she was growing up where she decided to skip school with some friends, her mother had drove her to school and dropped her off and Erin immediately walked into school and walked out the back door to meet up with the friends. She decided to return home before meeting up with the friends to retrieve some things. She wanted to leave a note for some other friends who hadn't met up with her yet. She proceeded to give full directions to where she would be, and tacked them on the front door. A short time later her mother appeared at one of the friends house with directions in hand when Erin opened the door. Her mother informed her she would get punished after her father who was a career military returned home that night. After she relayed the story to him with some more lies here and their her father gave her an entire semester grounding: no phone, no friends, no privileges. To add to it her father wrote her a letter expressing the importance of honesty and how deceit can change one's life.

She said that letter that he sent her she has kept all these years and referred to it when she was investigation the now famous California case on the Chromium 6 toxic exposure case. Her father's words of stick to who you are, don't change your moral standings for others and that deceit can create long term problems helped lead her in the path she continues today. Also her ability or "stick-to-it-ive-ness" or persistence or whatever word you care to use hers is the stick-to-it-ive-ness allows her to continue her work on environmental issues.

It made me think about how people today try to wrangle there way out of issues by lying and half truths but as she said in the end it will come back to haunt you. What an amazing gal, if you ever get the chance to hear her speak you won't be disappointed. She can be a little raw for some who don't have what she calls "potty mouth" but she's working on that...check out her website also www.brockovich.com

Doing my Civic Duty on this Autumn Day

Well I like probably millions of other Americans today did my civic duty and voted. I wrestled back and forth for week upon week, weighing the issues that were important to me personally, tried to disregard all the mudslinging, and down and dirty tactics that all the candidates exhibited and somehow found the appropriate way to go. I will probably question my decisions but the more I thought and pondered about it the more I knew I had to vote. Down deep I knew that if I just passed this election by it would tug at me forever.

This is the first time in voting that I had this difficult of a time deciding. I know it was due to many reasons: economy being the major one, of course other components came into play also but it basically all came down to that. Also so much has changed in the world and society since I first cast my vote at 18.

Experience has also been a big factor for me, I guess in part because you really have to be experienced in my opinion to take on all the issues to run this country. I know it is time for change: whatever that is, hopefully all changes are good, but unfortunately I think it is going to be a very tough road ahead regardless.

In alot of ways, this entire past two year campaign drama reminded me of when I was in school. I know we all remember when our friends were running for student council offices. They would promise to have better school lunches, promise better access to playground equipment, promise to make sure that the grounds were kept clean, and basically promised all kinds of things that when push came to shove, in the end after they got into office it just wasn't possible to do everything they said they would.

Only time will tell but, unfortunately I am a glass half empty kinda girl....

Halloween My How It Has Changed

As a kid growing up I always looked forward to the days before and the day of Halloween. Since my birthday was a few days before I always felt a little like it was a week of celebrating. The class parties and then the big night of going out and getting candy. I was in it more for the treats than the tricks and the truth be told I actually went out very few times trick or treating. I always seemed to catch a cold right before my birthday and would usually be sick and my parents wouldn't let me go out. When I did go out I was usually Cinderella or some non-spooky character. As I got a little older I remember dressing up in some of my grandmas old clothes and a friend and I went out as old ladies. The fun of putting together the special bags my grandma would have was always special. 3-4 pieces always nicely stapled into a wax paper sack. Ah the memories.

Of course things have changed in these times no more hand-made packaging or home made goodies, trust is a four letter word because society has changed so much. You may not hear as much about the razor blades in the candy, or the over-the-top tricks done today but oh how I miss the fun it used to be.

Case in point, this past Friday-Halloween I bought a couple bags of candy, closer to the day so that I wouldn't eat it. The past few years the crowds of kids have dwindled due to park and community events. I miss the groups of kids we had when I was in CA (we would get over 100 in just a matter of hours). As the first group of children came up the walk with the parents close behind they rang the bell and said nothing. I stood there waiting for the "Trick or Treat" when finally I said, "What do we say?". The young man of probably 6 said "thank you". I chuckled "No before thank we say "trick or treat". He obviously had not been pre-coached to the protocol of Halloween.

As the night wore on it became obvious Halloween has truly changed, one group came and almost literally knocked down my door to get to the candy I had in my hand. Others were barely costumed but they had a Wal-mart bag for the goodies. Where is the imagination of thinking up a costume on there own?

Well I guess there is no doubt that times have changed, so sad, yes so sad... I may rethink what the plan is for next Halloween

Each single or pair of children that came, it got worse. With the 37 kids I got that night, barely half actually uttered the words "Trick or Treat". Some were rude, some acted as though they were scarred to death. What has happened? The one bit of fun that kids still can really experience has been turned into something else because of societies desire to focus on all the negative aspects of the event. Let the kids dress up, get candy and let it be....