Being Accountable and What It Really Means

As a child growing up our household dynamic was my Dad was a firefighter for the Los Angeles County Fire Department and my Mom was as my Dad liked to put on our tax records a Domestic Engineer. I never exactly knew if he was being snide or if he thought that sounded more professional. It was his choice that she not work although her education had been nursing. She graduated in one of the first classes at the local community college in the late 50's as a LPN. I never really figured out if she was upset that she never got to work outside the home but I remember them both saying "Be independent and self-sufficient and depend on no one". I had my first job at 17 in a local bank as a "check filer". Today that job is done by machine but I thought it was so cool everyday after school to go down and spend 2 1/2 hours a day seeing what the local companies spent their money on. I distinctly remember one of the larger alcohol distributors had numerous bounced checks. It was a fun job for a 17 year old and I was pumped that I got $60.00 a week.

Two weeks after graduation I received notices from the State of California wanting to hire me as an entry-level clerk. I had a couple choices and picked the Employment Development Department Job Bank. I worked in one of several throughout the state that employers called when they needed jobs filled. It was definitely an interesting place and some of the other employees would tell me some of the interesting people they would come across both on the phone and in person. I never could understand why some of the applicants would work the system and basically just appear at the office to say they had been out on job interviews (when they hadn't and the determinations officer would have to decide whether or not to approve there unemployment checks).

Now with the economy as it is, a recent conversation took me back to that time. I have several people I know who are getting unemployment because they have been laid off, they haven't really attempted to find other work or when they were asked to return to work they would rather claim the unemployment. I have never been in this situation, never received a cent of unemployment but I guess this general attitude bothers me a little.

I know everyone makes choices: We made a life changing one when we made our big move almost 13 years ago. I knew when we started our business early on that we could go anywhere in the country and still run our trucking business, but my specific job being a civil servant was a little more difficult. At the time I had worked 16 1/2 years in several different capacities, had benefits, seniority. I knew I would never be able to make the amount of money I had before in the area I was moving too and without more education behind me it would be more beneficial to our family for me to stay at home at run the other half of the business.

Yes to some I might be a Domestic Engineer (I do have to do housework) I do the office aspects of running our business (phones, computer, bills, quotes, purchasing, public relations, filing, advertising, you get the idea), When the kids were still at home I was taxi-mom, activities chairperson). I have also added in the last several years part-time caregiver to my in-laws, somehow in the span of 24 hours I volunteer for a couple organizations in the community and church, I try and have some "me" time. But I guess my point is people just assume because I don't get dressed up everyday and leave the house for 8-12 hours a day and actually get a paycheck with my name on it, I don't work... I knew from the get-go I would have to tackle this dilemma.

Try as I might I try to ignore the rude and insensitive comments. Recently while at the hospital someone mentioned they had seen a picture of me in the paper from a recent activity I belong too. The other person in the room made a comment something to the affect "I didn't know you worked?". My reply, "I work everyday". The room went silent. Enough said the conversation went to something else.

Point being, I probably work harder than alot of people I know who actually get a paycheck every week. My multi-tasking skills have taken on a life of their own, sometimes I am so busy I can hardly catch my breath. Sometimes I question my path I have taken because sometimes I know I depend on my husband for all the hard work he has to do. We all do what we have to do to survive in this world. Some people just do it a little differently than others...