2008 Comes to an End-Hope for 2009

Well as the year 2008 comes to a close in a few hours, David and I have been packing the remainder of the Christmas decorations and putting them up in the attic for next years' appearance. I always think this time is bittersweet because it seems like we just get everything as we want it and it's time to take them all down. Although we started out earlier this year it just seems to come to and end quicker year after year. Of course he is now out buying additional bins to pack the new additions he just doesn't understand and I don't either why we always seem to have to do this each year since we are always getting rid of old things, broken items etc. Oh well, life goes on.

2008 has been a very busy year. Matthew got married and we added a daughter-in-law Tiffany to our family. Happy that they are both working and doing well.

Jennifer graduated from photography school, moved home, moved out with Scott and also an addition of a puppy to their mix-Lily. She is working, trying to get her business off the ground and getting used to taking care of her own puppy, although she still manages to come by almost everyday--along with Lily.

We got through the first half of the year pretty much unscathed except for the terrible storm we got caught in coming back from picking up Jennifer's belongings from school. But after months of claim forms, copying, phone calls etc. our trailer was replaced. We contemplated a change in our business during this time but both of us didn't want to throw in the towel, and "it all worked out in the end" as David likes to remind me. Thank God for his positive personality, we are Ying and Yang but we don't know any other way.

Health wise David's mom is still continuing to forge ahead as a skin cancer survivor, patient. Good days and bad days, like we all have, her's are just a little rougher. Going through this experience with her the past 4 years has opened my eyes to alot of the shortcomings of our health care system. I truly hope that if I am ever in a situation like this that I have the mindset to be able to cope. I can only hope that our family never has to experience anything like this ever again, but hey I know I am kidding myself, it is a part of life.

I have enjoyed the time I have been able to spend with family and friends. My activities still continue to be a big part of my life which helps to keep me sain or insain whatever the case is at the time. I hope that I am able to make some changes in my life that will help me to continue life as it has been. Change is a good thing, just maybe a little harder to do as I get older. But hey sometimes I still think I am a youngster instead of seeing that special birthday coming only a few years away.

Over the past 14 years or so, I have come to read over and over again the "Serenity Prayer" or whatever one chooses to call it. I know it is one that is instrumental in AA but I think it fits whoever wants to use it in there case. I have a copy that sits in the office on my cabinet that a friend of mine gave me that I worked with in CA during a rough time in my life. Every time I need to remind myself of its purpose in my life I not only think of here, and that time but also how true the words are. I am sure I will read it over and over in 2009 also. I especially like "accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can" because sometimes my mind/personality gets a little clouded by things I don't have control, or wish I did have control over.

So may 2009 be a little brighter for us all. Take things day by day, sorry for those people who still follow the five year or ten year plans, I have always thought it was crazy, but I guess someone has to be different..

Freedom of Expression on Ice

The freedom of the blades to the ice and the value of being able to express has been the thing that has kept me involved in skating in one way or another.

There are no boundaries, barriers or doors as you can see here, the ability to go as fast as you can, with the wind in your hair is wonderful. To be able to interpret a piece of music or just enjoy the silence is a feeling that is hard to explain.

Everyone should have this experience in life in one way or another.

The Parties Over--Back to Reality

Wow I hate to say it, no not really but I am glad it's over. I feel like I was on holiday overload and unfortunately I crashed on December 23rd. I would have just been happy to take to my bed, pull up the covers and sleep through Christmas. I think because I had the majority of my shopping over way before I usually do it really took the fun out of it this year. That's what the economy does when you start shopping so early I guess. But rest assured nothing was bought at full price, every time I turned around I was salivating for that extra percentage off my purchase just like everyone else in line. Something we had better not get so comfortable with because it is wonderful. It really gives you a false sense of security.

Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were really mostly a blurr and then I was in marathon mode with TV for three days after. I think my husband thought I had finally lost my marbles he couldn't believe I could watch so many episodes of House/NCIS. Hey don't let him kid you he was right next to me most of the time and enjoying every minute.

But back to the real world, back to the grind, let this year be over in a few days, toast the New Year with a little bubbly and keep our fingers crossed for 2009.

From my house to yours may the holidays be filled with love, family, friends, memories and everything that is the meaning of Christmas

You Haven't Made It Unless you Have Skated at Rockefeller Center

I usually watch the Today Show almost everyone morning and follow the stories leading up to the tree being put in front of Rockefeller Center. The stories usually are so wonderful how the process is done and how each year an tree is chosen to stand at the historical site.

For those people who are skating enthusiasts one place to put on your lists of places to skate is Rockefeller Center. I didn't get the chance during the Christmas Holidays, but back in 1989 our precision skating team (now called synchronized) made a stop in NYC after our trip to Providence Rhode Island for the National Championships. A small group of use figured we just had to stop and say we had put our blades on an outside skating rink. Alot of us (including myself) had never skated outdoors.

So we laced up our boots and were on our way. We tried a couple tricks and then figured we would try some of our routine. There wasn't very many other skater's on the ice so we new that we wouldn't bother to many people. As we were getting started doing a trick some stopped us and said we couldn't do it. Well being the person that I am I spoke up and said "Look we are National Champions and have come 3,000 miles and it won't hurt for just one trick". The guard backed off, let us do our trick and we were all happy camper's, probably except the guard.

It was a wonderful experience, the down side is the World Trade Center is no longer there and we had many pictures taken of us both inside and outside. But we have the memories...

Santa Baby

A couple of days ago I was looking through my skating album and I came across a picture that brought a Christmas memory about a special "Santa" in my life.

For several years I completed in a Showcase of Skating Competition at my home rink each year. It took place in July and its basic premise was you could pick special music including vocals (which back then you couldn't use during normal competition events). Among the music over several years that I chose was Bette Midler's "Wings Beneath my Wings" and also a group number of "Jump" by the Pointer Sister's which we dressed in workout clothes and did a Aerobics number. I did a female pair number with one of my partner's in crime as a hobo that year also that was also fun to the music "I Ain't Got a Barrel of Money" (Side by Side) by Kay Starr. One event that was really hard was they played music three times and you had to make up a routine on the spot, which showed how "artistic" you could be.

Pam also wanted to recreate a number that she had seen before called "Santa Baby" by Eartha Kitt. She could use props but the key for this number was you couldn't "move" otherwise it would be considered a pair number. At first she was going to get a stuffed Santa and prop it in a chair but she found a costume and figured she would find someone to wear it.

Well "my" Santa was the perfect size but lacking in the bulk department but nothing a little extra filling couldn't fix. My Santa was a beginning skater but no problem because she just needed him to stand and she would push him out onto the ice, sit him in the chair the rest was easy. The number turned out really great and she ended up getting second place.

It was fun bringing a little "Christmas in July" and the best part nobody could guess who Santa was...I'll never tell....

Christmas Lights Shining Brightly-With a Little Assistance from David's Elf

Christmas lights are one of David's favorite thing to do before Christmas. Actually he usually puts them up right around Thanksgiving when he is home. Our window of opportunity seems to get smaller and smaller each year either due to the weather not cooperating or just because he usually isn't home alot between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

We have come to expect up until this year that we have to buy lights about every other year, I think the maker's of lights plan it that way now, what happened to the old fashion string you could put out year after year, (everything is throw away!!).

He started out with lights around the outside, then added around the windows, then added around the bushes in front, then one year the "blow up ornaments" started appearing. The first one purchased by Jennifer for her Dad for Christmas was the Rudolph pulling Santa from the chimney, then the following year David saw a 9 ft. Nutcracker that he just had to put out, we added the white lighted reindeer a couple years ago and this year I bought him acute penguin (which only lasted two days-David was not happy that he didn't light up enough and wouldn't blow up enough-Walmart I think got everyone returned back for the same reason).

He has the electrical plug-ins down to a science now compared to what it looked like a few years ago. Each night I make my calculated track through the house to turn them on and off (only one trip outside usually to unplug and two inside).

But you always must consider any unexpected problems which we have had 3 so far this season. He decided he had to put the Rudolph blowup on the roof. It had maintained from several days, until the wind came along this week and knocked it over and sorry love, but I am not climbing on the roof to fix, so ole Rudy will have to wait until David gets home to straighten that out. Also we have had issue with sections of lights fuse issues. One was fixed by Matthew last weekend so we are down to one "small" section out now.

Don't get me wrong I enjoy people commenting since we live on the corner and you can see the beacon sometimes from the highway and I know David enjoys the whole operation. We don't come close to what some people do, no we are the Clark Griswald's by any means, tasteful yes, over the top-not yet. But hey if it brings some joy when people drive by, why not.

So if anyone happens to see me out in the snow tonight trying to dig out a blowup ornament, wave, honk and say "Merry Christmas"....David will love it

Christmas Baking a Dying Tradition?

For as long as I can remember the weeks leading up to Christmas you pulled out the cookbook and either found one of the old favorite recipe's or tried something new.

I can remember my grandparents yes both of them starting early in the kitchen and spending days in there baking candy and cookies. My granpa was usually in charge of the candy (usually the family favorites were Marshmallow Fudge, Divinity) and cookies usually included Peanut Butter Blossoms, Chocolate Chip, Oatmeal raisin) and also a dreaded Fruit Cake (sorry for those fruitcake lovers I have never found one I could swallow).

I have my granma's original Pillsbury's Best Butter Cookie Cookbook priced at 20 cents that has tattered pages,and penciled recipes inside. Many of the recipes have been re-named over the years but each year it's a wonderful memory to pull it out and make some of these treasured items. I have been blessed by all my families in that I love to cook and like to think this is one good thing I received from them.

I know it would be faster, easier and probably cheaper to just walk into the grocery store and pick up cookies, candy etc. but it just wouldn't be the same. Baking is something that has always been relaxing and fun to me and I know if more people would just take the time to continue cooking or even just learning to cook whatever it may be instead of going out and picking it up they too would eventually get the joy those of us who cook do. It isn't always best to take the easy way out plus people do really appreciate the time you have taken to actually bake something for them. Ok I admit I also love the praise doesn't everyone.

Although this year I am trying some new recipe's I am sure my family will be disappointed that I am not making all the favorites but also, at this point if I have the stuff around I will eat it before it gets to them and I really don't want that to happen. My willpower still is low during this time of year.

I treasure the weight I have lost and don't want it to appear back on me. You know that is just one of those Christmas miracles I don't miss.

So if you receive any homemade baked good from family or friends during the next few weeks take a minute and think back to this tradition, you might even catch yourself pulling out that rolling pin, turning on that oven and spending a little fun time.

Miracles, Hope, Traditions, Believe

As we countdown to the big day we stop and think what is important in each of our lives.

When I was a little girl this time of year was always a special time spent with my granma Ruby. She always faithfully picked me up each Sunday morning and took me to Sunday School and then to church. From the time I can remember until the age of 12 I faithfully attended. I would always look forward to the chance of being in the yearly Christmas pageant. Unfortunately I missed more than I actually got to participate in because I usually came down with a cold or something and would be unable to continue. I was always amazed in the story of the birth of Christ and the miracles it brought. Of course even than I questioned how it was possible and wasn't always given the answers I thought I wanted, faith wasn't in my vocabulary back then for many reasons, possibly just the unanswered questions that wouldn't and haven't been answered for me in my past but as I have gotten older I have had to put my faith into play.

Over the past several weeks I have watched alot of the movies on Hallmark Channel, Lifetime, etc. that have something to do with the holidays I always enjoy the messages they bring of hope, miracles and all the things you remember as a child and sometimes forget as you grow older. It's always nice just to take time from you hectic day and laugh. I particularly enjoy the old favorites like "Miracle on 34th Street" (the original version), "It's a Wonderful Life", "Christmas Carol", "A Christmas Story". Each one takes you back to a time where worries weren't what they are today and still the message they bring still holds true.

I guess this is why even though with all the commercialism, the true meaning of Christmas and all it's traditions whatever they might be for each of us still is a special time for me. It brings the child out in all of us, hey I like to think I am 47 but still a kid at heart, I'll probably never grow up completely anyway.

Twelve days and counting, the sad things is it will be over before we know it.

Bells Were Ringing for the Kettle

For the past four years I have had the honor to volunteer to ring the bells for the Salvation Army Kettle Campaign. This year I did it as a part of the Business and Professional Women's group that I belong too. Some of our members graciously gave up one hour to ring and although I am not sure what our total was for the day, I am sure we had a sizable amount donated that we can be proud of.

Except for the strong blowing wind that seemed to hit everything in sight, not only my Santa hat and many other hats around the entrance and a few runaway shopping carts here and there the weather was extremely nice to us this time. In years past I have experienced bitter cold, snow on the ground as it should be at this time of year.

With the wishes of Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays the greatest joy is seeing the young children break from there parents to rush and push in there handful of coins into the kettles. It's also exciting when larger bills get pushed through the slot and of course whatever is contributed can be appreciated by those who have come upon hard times. It makes me appreciate what we have and pray that my family hopefully will never have to experience such times, but if we should need any group that this one would be a kettle away.

Ornament Giving 101

Many years ago at a loss at what to get me for Christmas (believe me I am not someone who is hard to buy for) David unleashed a monster that has snowballed into a life of it's own.

Since this is the time of year when it is "Not" hard to find anything "ice skating related" in any store around he lovingly purchased an ornament. I really wish I could remember which one was the very first but since I have several, that one escapes me right now. I haven't counted them in several years but enough to fit on a 4ft. tree that we designated several years ago because they overtook our family tree. Be it Hallmark collectibles, Precious Moments, if they have made it I probably have it.

In all fairness, I started collecting figure skating memorabilia long before the ornament's started, but David was the first one to purchase my first collectible item 26 years ago. What started as an item sharing my cabinet that held my skating trophies, then became a curio cabinet that I got Dec. 19, 1985 when we moved into our home in CA. I still have the cabinet, full, plus another cabinet which is full also.

I treasure each and every piece of I have received over the years and it hasn't been without some broken pieces. After the Northridge Earthquake unfortunately I lost a few pieces that were unable to be replaced. I can't put a dollar amount on what I have but it keeps a little bit of skating in my life on a daily basis.

Letter's to Santa

With all the serious problems with our economy today I am so grateful I am at an age now that I no longer compose a letter to Santa.

I remember as a little girl I would hurry to get my list together every year to have out for Santa with his cookies and milk each year by our fireplace. I usually kept the list pretty short, not like today where kids seem to have pages and pages that cost the big bucks.

One year I wanted a talking telephone (something popular in the 60's), a Lite Brite (Santa was able to fill that wish or the Easy Bake Oven) but needless to say I usually got at least a couple off the list each year.

When I married and had children of my own, I got to experience first hand what it was like to try to make sure that Santa made the kids wishes come true within reason. The year of the double bikes, the doll houses, Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles, Lego's we had as much fun putting things together as they had playing with there toys.

In the future it will be grand kids to help in conjunction with Santa to make there wishes come true. I am glad now that I have a little bit of a breather especially this year. Yes I have cut back on purchases and am aiming to get gifts that are a little more practical, but I am sure the joy in giving and receiving will still be appreciated.

I still think it is alot more enjoying to be the small child who still believes in Santa, I guess that small child still exists in all of us, including me. And as my mother-in-law has always said, "You stop believing, you stop receiving".

Will It Snow for Christmas?

Being a California girl I lived the first 35 years of Christmas holidays in shorts and sun usually. The only way to see snow was to take a drive which was about 2 hours to the local mountains. Which even then you weren't always assured snow even around the holidays. Sunscreen for Christmas was not out of the ordinary.

After we started making the trip to MO for Christmas which was usually every other year we were introduced to snow for Christmas. It was always so much fun to wake up on Christmas mornings and have snow. Of course we didn't always have the appropriate attire (warm coats were not a must in CA) but it was always a treat.

Now after living in MO for the past twelve years and having several of those years with either an inch or two or more of snow on the ground it still is something to look forward too. But I always say let it snow for Christmas Eve, a little on Christmas and then stop. That would be enough snow for me.

It is funny how snow becomes just like any other thing. When you don't have it you miss it but when the fun is gone you really don't mind if you see it again.

I will keep my fingers crossed for those few snow days.

The Christmas Tree-Fresh vs. Artificial

Well we went that road I vowed I would never travel again. I guess it's true never say never. This year marked a temporary end to our tradition for the past 27 years that we went the artificial tree route. There was tears and apprehension (on my part) but I guess depending on how you look at it I took the "green" way.

Let me go back to a time that cemented my reason for purchasing a "live" tree. I grew up at a time and I am sure that there are several people who can back me up on this that lived with the now "retro" tinsel look tree with the color wheel or the green cellophane look trees of years ago. Living with a fireman as a dad we were more concerned with the fire safety than the look or smell of a tree that had been cut down and brought not only the fragrance (something we are not allergic too like some) and just the experience of having one. So until I ventured out on my own I made a vow I would never go back to the dark side. (Just kidding)

Well in the age of "being green" and also with our schedule each year we have a very short time frame of purchasing a real trip. Which usually entails before a rain/snow storm and whenever a vehicle other than a car is available to go down and retrieve it from the sole Sunrise Optimist group that sells them here in town. Gone also are the days of "flocking" not an option here so the possibilities have been cut down. Although I will no longer be contributing to the cause of the Optimist I hope they will understand.

Being positive the trees of today do look almost real, they don't shed, and the expense will not be as great but sometimes there is just somethings associated with Christmas you don't want to give up.

I guess this is my way of becoming more flexible, you be the judge.

Reliving the Memories of Holidays Past

I am going to try and hit upon some of the past Christmas time memories that have happened over the years that helped to shape my life throughout the years.

One that happened 26 years ago was the day that David and I got engaged. Our chance meeting one year earlier before the Thanksgiving holidays would help to shape the wonderful years we have spent together. The story of our meeting I like to say you meet the person you are going to marry not when you are looking, but when you aren't.

I was a part of our inter-office move and David worked for the moving company that moved our facilities. We literally spent an entire weekend Fri-Sun for 12+ hours a day moving our office of 100+ people. He said the first thing that impressed him about me was the fact that I worked harder than any of the guys did, "beware of things in small packages". We managed to eat lunches and dinners together and when he came back to the new office on Monday morning I already had my phone number ready (if he asked, and he did) and I guess they say the rest is history.

The following year on Christmas Eve he went down on one knee in my apartment and proposed with a lovely ring he picked out all by himself. Needless to say it was the best Christmas gift I had up until that time.

So for those who try and try to find that special someone, stop take a break and let it happen on its own, it's worth the wait....

Christmas with Santa 2006

Memories of Christmas, for which I have many. One that is a most cherished one as a parent happened just a few years ago. I have always believed the old saying "a picture is worth a 1,000 words". I like to think with all the pictures we took while the kids were growing up, the many trips we took and events that needed to be captured that maybe that was why our daughter Jennifer wanted to become a photographer.

But one infamous picture that eluded us every year was the picture with Santa Claus. The first Christmas related photo taken was when Matthew was not even 2 months old. It was our first surprise trip to MO to introduce him to his grandparents. Of course I had to find his first Christmas outfit which was the ever popular Christmas onesie with a matching cap. We propped him on our couch and low and behold his first holiday photo was captured.

Every year we would dress both kids in holiday clothes and trek either to the mall or some early function that would include a Santa. But alas our time spent in long lines was always for not because immediately the kids would back away from the bearded one. So needless to say not one kids with Santa picture.

Each year I would bring up this fact and finally it happened. Both kids got together and surprised me with my first Santa picture. Of course they were 20 and 21 respectively, but the point is they thought enough (and probably were tired of hearing from mom) that I didn't have a picture.

Christmas morning 2006 I opened the most precious gift they could have ever given me. Add the tears and repeat of the story from them. (They met at the mall and walked right up amongst the tiny tots, parents and others and told Santa there story that there poor mother never got a picture of them with Santa. They said that Santa and his elves got a real kick, and some interesting glances from those waiting for there turn) but hey it makes me think of the Hallmark commercial "When you care enough, to give the very best" and my two did.....

Thanksgiving Memories

With turkey day only a few short days away I am reliving some of my fondest Thanksgiving memories. For my first 17 thanksgiving memories it was pretty much routine. My parents, one set of grandparents and myself. The five of us alternated either at our house or my grandparents who lived only a stones throw away in CA. We always had turkey and all the usual fixings. Always a weeks worth of turkey pot pie after and turkey sandwiches and then more turkey for Christmas. I really only have one unfortunate mishap that if my mind can remember was the year after my grandpa died (then there were 4). That year my grandma was in charge of pumpkin pies and bless her heart she forgot to put the sugar in them. No one said a word (until several years later) and we slowly ate the interesting tasting dessert. God love her if that was the only mistake she ever made, I miss her still.

When I married David almost 25 years ago our Thanksgiving events were usually spent at his aunt's house (the number was always more than 10 but less than 25 usually, what a change from my small family) since his parents lived here in MO and we only came out during the Christmas holidays. One year we actually winged it on our own just the 4 of us and I cooked the meal at our home. We managed to capture a picture of that event, I think the kids were probably about five and six years old. It was so nice just to have that small group.

The only other catastrophe's I can think of over the years was one year I actually forgot to take the baggy of "special items" out of the turkey. Hasn't everyone. And the year after we moved to MO I accidentally poured boiling potatoes on my arm a few days before Thanksgiving, what a way to get out of cooking. A trip to emergency room and dipping my hand/arm in cold solution and wrapping it wasn't a picnic.

Then after I found my biological family we alternated holiday meals. Our last holidays in CA we hosted and had everyone over, it was definitely bittersweet because some of them I never were able to see again.

This year I'm doing part of the cooking and my mother-in-law will do what she can. We have so much to be thankful for, her cancer is better this year than last, and things are going well (for the most part for everyone else). We added a daughter-in-law and family to the mix. I have a truly wonderful husband I can't live without, some friends that I couldn't do without.

I promise not to eat to much but still enjoy what I have.

Updating Our "To Do" Lists

I have come to the point in the year where the holidays have almost snuck up on me without notice. NOT! In the back of my mind I am always thinking ahead to what needs to be done. As I am posting I am working on my Thanksgiving cooking "to do" list. Hence a never ending "To Do" list is always within my reach at all times. I also have a "honey to do" list for David. It's actually pretty short this time because we got so much done the last time, and you know he is ecstatic about that.

For the first time in many, many years my Christmas "To Do" list is almost finished already. I think what helped progress this list along was the fact that we decided (I guess the economy helped us decide) to be more realistic in our gift spending this year. Actually it has gotten out of hand over the years, but we vowed to keep it simple. It helps to have grown children and no grandchildren to help sway purchase power.

As I have gotten older I catch myself doing not only a daily "to do" list but a weekly "to do" check list to make sure that I am on track. Oh how it really helps when you have so much on your plate plus keeping track of everyone around you. Does it ever end?? Probably not which brings me to why I thought of this topic.

I have seen author Dave Freeman on Oprah who wrote "100 Things To Do Before You Die" who passed away back in August after a long illness. I have wanted to read his book and it is on my "To Read" list (this list gets bigger and bigger it seems). It made me reflect again on things you always wanted to do but never either have the money or time to do. Let's be realistic here though some you put on the list you probably won't get to ever do and making a list of 100 things seems way out of reach, but I have jotted down the things I have already accomplished and I feel pretty proud. A few that come to mind..

Taking a dog sledding trip in Alaska
Finding my adoptive family (it took seven years to accomplish)
Going to Graceland (my grandpa was a Elvis fan)
Volunteering for Meals on Wheels on behalf of my grandma
See the volcanoes in Hawaii

There is still a laundry list of things I would like "to do".. which includes:

Drive a race car
Ride in a hot-air balloon
Go to Europe
Eat snails (I came close a couple times)
Learn to swim (maybe someday if the fear of water subsides)

I guess the point is it's never to late to dust off your "to do" list and from what I have heard Dave Freeman was able to accomplish several on his list of 100. Let's be Thankful for what we have, and remember anything can be accomplish if we only put our mind to it.

What is Our Destiny?

Each week when I have enough energy to attend church (almost every week) I always look forward to what the sermon might be. Our new pastor has made efforts to bring something each week that will make us take thought, and maybe grow spiritually. Some hit home, other's go foul for me but today was a first in all of the years I have attended church.

What is our Destiny? I know I hope that I go to heaven. I'm not perfect by any stretch of the word and I also know that how we get to heaven depends on much more. I have made many mistakes over the years, and have also learned from a lot of those mistakes I have made. I try to think before I speak, (Not always easy for those who know me), I try not to judge (another thing that is hard sometimes and a work always in progress).

I looked the definition up in the dictionary and several made me take pause. 1-The inevitable or necessary fate to which a particular person or thing is determined; one's lot 2-The preordained or inevitable course of events considered as something beyond the power or control of man (or woman) 3 fate. (Wow how many times have I used fate as a reason)

There was also a quote by Robert Burton "Marriage and hanging go by destiny". Wow I think if I had my choice marriage would be better than a hanging. I always say it was fate that brought David and I together. Even after over 25 years together I find I learn more and more everyday.

Fate for me has always been a factor in my life for as long as I can remember. will get into that another time.

But getting back to the sermon, pastors' basic message was hopefully each one of us our destiny will be to go to heaven. Almost at the end of the sermon pastor made a comment that every persons destiny is different and today one of our parishioners destiny is to sleep through his sermon. (We have several who sometimes take a little catnap but pastor actually called this person out by name). Some chuckles and some I think maybe embarrassment by some of his family members but nothing serious. This was a first for me!

As we left church and each one of us shook hands with pastor I told him in all the years of attending church this was a first for me that someone got called out for sleeping. He laughed and said that he knew he could get away with it with this gentlemen.

I myself remember many times falling asleep as a child, and truth be told I have almost nodded off myself.

Our destiny, we all have a part in what path we take. My road has had many roadblocks, I've tried to keep my path smooth but sometimes I am not always in control of my life's destiny. I can only hope that someday I will end my journey where all the other special people in my life have hopefully ended there journey too.

Adoption-Truths and Lies

I am in the middle of reading Barbara Walters book "Audition" a Memoir. Over the years like alot of people I have watched her specials and yes I do watch "The View" when I get a chance. I don't always agree with any of them on the show but that's the joy of watching. It does make you take notice sometimes. Anyway I have gotten to the chapter in her book that covers her daughter Jackie's life which she said was the hardest chapter to write.

She adopted her at a time when the adoption process was kept quiet both for the biological mother and the adoptive family. (I can relate to this) Her daughter has never wanted to know who gave her up which is a chose alot of adoptees make (but one that I didn't).'

One quote her daughter makes in the book hit close to home for me being adopted. She said, "Almost every adopted child feels a sense of loss and suffers from an "inner abandonment" something she thinks every adopted child lives with. I totally agree with this. It doesn't matter if you find out at a young age or at 28 years old like I did. No matter how much you go over it in your mind, it is what it is. Whether it was " in your best interest" or not it is almost always interpreted as abandonment.

It seems as though Barbara Walters' daughter has made her adjustments, she had some rough years like we all did, some later than others but she has made her peace too it seems.

I am still a work in progress, I am not sure I will ever "make my peace". I have come to the conclusion after almost 16 years after "my find" that no family is perfect, they are who they are, you except them with the flaws and try to go on with the life you have made the best you can, with them or without them.

At this point, most of the important characters in my saga are now gone: my biological mother and grandmother, and the one's the are still around have there own problems trying to cope with life as they choose to live it with the baggage they have collected over the years.


I feel sad they aren't a part of my life but some I had to make the choice to keep out of my life and other's made the choice for me. If any of them happen to read this, (which I doubt they will) I love them, wish them luck in their lives and can only hope instead of living in the past they could live in what future we could have..

A Penny for Your Thoughts Plus a Little Extra

I know we have all heard the adage "A Penny for Your Thoughts" or if you find a penny on the sidewalk face up it means "Good Luck" or "A Gift from an Angel" even "A Penny Saved is a Penny Earned" which by today we all should probably be taking alot more serious. Recently an old friend of mine sent me an e-mail story that I had never heard of but after reading it I won't think twice about picking up a penny ever again. So read on and see what you think.....

A friend and her husband were invited to spend the weekend at the husband's employer's home. My friend was nervous about the weekend. The boss was very wealth, with a fine home on the waterfront, and cars costing more than their home.

The first day and evening went well, and she was delighted to have this rare glimpse into how the very wealthy live. The husband's employer was quite generous as a host, and took them to the finest restaurants. She new she would never have the opportunity to indulge in this kind of extravagance again, so was enjoying herself immensely.

As the three of them were about to enter an exclusive restaurant that evening , the boss was walking slightly ahead of her and her husband. He stopped suddenly, looking down on the pavement for a long, silent moment.

She wondered if she was supposed to pass him. There was nothing on the ground except a single darkened penny that someone had dropped, and a few cigarette butts. Still silent, the man reached down and picked up the penny.

He held it up and smiled, then put in in his pocket as if he had found a great treasure. How absurd! What need did this man have for a single penny? Why would he even take the time to stop and pick it up?

Throughout dinner, the entire scene nagged at her. Finally, she could stand it no longer. She casually mentioned that her daughter once had a coin collection, and asked if the penny he had found had been of some value.

A smile crept across the man's face as he reached into his pocket for the penny and held it out for her to see. She has seen many pennies before! What was the point of this?

"look at it". He said. "Read what it says?" She reads the words, "United States of America".

"No, not that, read further" he said.

"One cent?" "No, keep reading".

"In God We Trust?" "Yes" and,

"And if I trust in God, the name of God is holy, even on a coin". Whenever I find a coin I see that inscription. It is written on every single United States coin, but we never seem to notice it! God drops a message right in front of me telling me to trust him? Who am I to pass it by? When I see a coin, I pray, I stop to see if my trust IS in God at that moment. I pick the coin up as a response to God; that I do trust in him. Fr a short time, at least, I cherish it as if it were gold. I think it is God's way of starting a conversation with me. Lucky for me, God is patient and pennies are plentiful!

When I was out shopping today, I found a penny on the sidewalk. I stopped and picked it up, and realized that I had been worrying and fretting in my mind about things I cannot change. I read the words, "In God We Trust" and I had to laugh. Yes, God, I get the message.

It seems that I have been finding an inordinate number of pennies in the last few months, but then, pennies are plentiful! And, God is patient.

Thought for the Day: If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. If he had a wallet, your photo would be in it. He send you flowers every spring. He sends you a sunrise every morning, whether we can see it or not. God didn't promise days without paint, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but he did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way. If God brings you to it, he will being you through it.

I especially like the last part. We have an old glass water bottle that we have had for many years that whenever we have pennies we dump inside of it. I wouldn't be able to even guess how many we have so I like to think maybe without even realizing it I have been saving all God's blessings for a rainy day....

Alzheimer's Unconditional Love- My Friend Linda Fisher

First, this week I have a feeling will be a time of daily blogging for me. I have alot to cover.

I had the distinct pleasure of accompanying one of my favorite people and a great friend, author and literally a woman of many hats last night to one of her speaking engagements on a topic that is close to her heart that only she can express.

Linda Fisher is deeply involved in Alzheimer's in many ways. She has written much about it, been a spearhead in the chapter in our area, has been to Washington D.C. countless times to push for the rights of those with the disease and the families affected by it. I know she is not done with her fight on behalf of one special person that she lost to this unkind disease. Her husband Jim was taken much to young, at the age of 59 after 10 years of a brave battle with Alzheimer's. I never had the chance to meet him but have heard many stories and can recommend any of her writings that tells deep, poignant memories of a past that was quickly erased from the love of her life. He couldn't ask for a better spokeswoman and I guess you can tell she has become a special person to me.

Her Alzheimer's Anthology of Unconditional Love-The 110,000 Missourian with Azheimer's was a work of love not only from her but for those who submitted the stories to make this book possible. When I bought my copy her inscription to me was "Cindy, Blessings as you read these true stories". I have since supported Linda and other's by walking in two Memory Walks.

My connection to this disease is small. My aunt on my adoptive grandma's side died from it in the late 70's when the title "Alzheimer's" really wasn't used. Today David's aunt has battled with it for several years and each day it takes a little bit away from someone who always gave of herself without thinking.

Each day that I forget where I put something or repeat myself in a story, I can only hope this disease will never be a closer part of my life.

Linda you are an angel and your "prince" appreciates all you did for him when he couldn't and what you still provide to those around you..... Love ya

Girl's Day Out-Erin Brockovich "Stick-to-it-ive-ness"

A friend and I had a great opportunity to attend another BPW chapter's event this past weekend. It was a Women's Expo sponsored by there club and the keynote speaker was Erin Brockovich. Yes the real Erin Brockovich not Julie Roberts. No Julie Roberts looked nothing like the real person but from the interviews I have seen over the years and the way the real Erin described herself, it seems as though the personalities could be the same.

A real inspirational story she told about her life from growing up in Kansas, two failed marriages, 3 young children to raise on her own, and the struggle to "do right" that the film portrayed. She has definitely went through the trials and tribulations but her "15 minutes of fame" has now seemed to brought her to a great place.

She told about an "ahh moment" that basically was the center of the story in the movie that pretty much seemed to bring her life full circle for her. She passed along a story about an incident that happened when she was growing up where she decided to skip school with some friends, her mother had drove her to school and dropped her off and Erin immediately walked into school and walked out the back door to meet up with the friends. She decided to return home before meeting up with the friends to retrieve some things. She wanted to leave a note for some other friends who hadn't met up with her yet. She proceeded to give full directions to where she would be, and tacked them on the front door. A short time later her mother appeared at one of the friends house with directions in hand when Erin opened the door. Her mother informed her she would get punished after her father who was a career military returned home that night. After she relayed the story to him with some more lies here and their her father gave her an entire semester grounding: no phone, no friends, no privileges. To add to it her father wrote her a letter expressing the importance of honesty and how deceit can change one's life.

She said that letter that he sent her she has kept all these years and referred to it when she was investigation the now famous California case on the Chromium 6 toxic exposure case. Her father's words of stick to who you are, don't change your moral standings for others and that deceit can create long term problems helped lead her in the path she continues today. Also her ability or "stick-to-it-ive-ness" or persistence or whatever word you care to use hers is the stick-to-it-ive-ness allows her to continue her work on environmental issues.

It made me think about how people today try to wrangle there way out of issues by lying and half truths but as she said in the end it will come back to haunt you. What an amazing gal, if you ever get the chance to hear her speak you won't be disappointed. She can be a little raw for some who don't have what she calls "potty mouth" but she's working on that...check out her website also www.brockovich.com

Doing my Civic Duty on this Autumn Day

Well I like probably millions of other Americans today did my civic duty and voted. I wrestled back and forth for week upon week, weighing the issues that were important to me personally, tried to disregard all the mudslinging, and down and dirty tactics that all the candidates exhibited and somehow found the appropriate way to go. I will probably question my decisions but the more I thought and pondered about it the more I knew I had to vote. Down deep I knew that if I just passed this election by it would tug at me forever.

This is the first time in voting that I had this difficult of a time deciding. I know it was due to many reasons: economy being the major one, of course other components came into play also but it basically all came down to that. Also so much has changed in the world and society since I first cast my vote at 18.

Experience has also been a big factor for me, I guess in part because you really have to be experienced in my opinion to take on all the issues to run this country. I know it is time for change: whatever that is, hopefully all changes are good, but unfortunately I think it is going to be a very tough road ahead regardless.

In alot of ways, this entire past two year campaign drama reminded me of when I was in school. I know we all remember when our friends were running for student council offices. They would promise to have better school lunches, promise better access to playground equipment, promise to make sure that the grounds were kept clean, and basically promised all kinds of things that when push came to shove, in the end after they got into office it just wasn't possible to do everything they said they would.

Only time will tell but, unfortunately I am a glass half empty kinda girl....

Halloween My How It Has Changed

As a kid growing up I always looked forward to the days before and the day of Halloween. Since my birthday was a few days before I always felt a little like it was a week of celebrating. The class parties and then the big night of going out and getting candy. I was in it more for the treats than the tricks and the truth be told I actually went out very few times trick or treating. I always seemed to catch a cold right before my birthday and would usually be sick and my parents wouldn't let me go out. When I did go out I was usually Cinderella or some non-spooky character. As I got a little older I remember dressing up in some of my grandmas old clothes and a friend and I went out as old ladies. The fun of putting together the special bags my grandma would have was always special. 3-4 pieces always nicely stapled into a wax paper sack. Ah the memories.

Of course things have changed in these times no more hand-made packaging or home made goodies, trust is a four letter word because society has changed so much. You may not hear as much about the razor blades in the candy, or the over-the-top tricks done today but oh how I miss the fun it used to be.

Case in point, this past Friday-Halloween I bought a couple bags of candy, closer to the day so that I wouldn't eat it. The past few years the crowds of kids have dwindled due to park and community events. I miss the groups of kids we had when I was in CA (we would get over 100 in just a matter of hours). As the first group of children came up the walk with the parents close behind they rang the bell and said nothing. I stood there waiting for the "Trick or Treat" when finally I said, "What do we say?". The young man of probably 6 said "thank you". I chuckled "No before thank we say "trick or treat". He obviously had not been pre-coached to the protocol of Halloween.

As the night wore on it became obvious Halloween has truly changed, one group came and almost literally knocked down my door to get to the candy I had in my hand. Others were barely costumed but they had a Wal-mart bag for the goodies. Where is the imagination of thinking up a costume on there own?

Well I guess there is no doubt that times have changed, so sad, yes so sad... I may rethink what the plan is for next Halloween

Each single or pair of children that came, it got worse. With the 37 kids I got that night, barely half actually uttered the words "Trick or Treat". Some were rude, some acted as though they were scarred to death. What has happened? The one bit of fun that kids still can really experience has been turned into something else because of societies desire to focus on all the negative aspects of the event. Let the kids dress up, get candy and let it be....

Another Year Older

Time flies it seems when another birthday rolls around. 47 years and what do I have to show for it? A few more grey hairs that I have to touch-up more and more, a couple more wrinkles to try and hide with creams and potions, a few more aches and pains but hey overall I have had an interesting, eventful, unpredictable, life so far.

This past weekend we brought back a tradition and went skating for my son's birthday who just so happens to be the day after mine. His first on ice experience was at the age of 4, although he had pretty much grew up at the rink, tagging along with me. We walked down memory lane about that first experience because it was also when he met Tom Hanks and got his autograph. He was their for a family get together and was gracious enough to give Matthew an autograph and also sing a little Happy Birthday song on the spot. I remember he was just so nice to take the time with a 4 year old. I also remembered how Matthew told him he had seen a couple of his pictures "Man with One Red Shoe" and "The Burbs". This of course was early in his career and way before his multi-Academy Award winners but he chuckled at the fact that a young boy would know those films. Probably films he would like to forget now...What an experience it was....

Matthew turns 23 today, hard to believe but that day will forever be in my mind. He took his time coming and he still continues to be a bit of a procrastinator to this day. The little story about his arrival according to David is that I had said over and over that I really didn't want to share my birthday with him since I had up to that point had to share my birthday with my adoptive father and I didn't think it was fair. So Matthew was born at approximately 2:00 a.m.
I still stick to my story that he controlled the time he was born not me, but David still thinks differently.

Anyway we had a great weekend and look forward to the next birthdays in both our futures

People Watching and Old Memories

I remember when I was growing up I spent alot of time entertaining myself. Something you do alot when you are an only child. Be it sitting at the mall or even when I was skating at the rink I would spend an awful lot of time just standing and watching people. (This used to make my mom mad as she always said with the little time we had to skate I wasn't using my time wisely).

In today's times of multi-tasking I still find it easy to observe people. Recently I was at a Ladies Night with my Beauticontrol business and these always give you a great opportunity to watch people and the different reactions they make to things. I happened to be next to a guy from a major water distribution company and he had free water for people as they walked by. He told those who stopped by that ice cold water is better for you than any other as it boosts your metabolism and allows you to burn calories better. Most of those who stopped to listened were surprised at this what seemed like new information to them. As one woman stopped to listen she asked the gentlemen, "So if I eat ice cream does this also burn more calories because it is cold?" As I listened and watched as he tried to as gently as possible not to embarrass the woman he replied, "No I am sorry it's not the same" we both couldn't help but get a chuckle out of it.

It did bring a memory back from my childhood though. I remember when we would go out to a restaurant and they would always fill your water glass with water and I would quickly grab the glass and drink feverishly, the first words out of my parents mouth were "don't guzzle your water it will spoil your dinner".

Little did I know they were doing me a favor.....Now I "guzzle" that water today so I don't eat all my food....Imagine that....

Observation of a Generational Difference

A recent trip to a home improvement store opened my eyes to how wide generations really are today and how professionalism isn't what it used to be.

A woman approximately in her 70's or 80's was with her grandson and were purchasing carpet to have it installed. As I was waiting to pay for my purchases I noticed that the woman was attempting to conduct her business with the 20 something clerk. The clerk was not making eye contact and was not talking directly to the woman. You could tell that the clerk was trying to complete the order as fast as possible without any real conversation. As the transaction was coming to and end the clerk looked away and the customer extended her hand out to shake the clerks hand. The clerk was clearly not paying any attention and the woman continued to extend her hand and respond "thank you" several times. Finally the clerk turned around and slowly extended her hand and chuckled with a faint "thank you" back.

It is painfully obvious by these sometimes daily occurrences that society today shamefully has lost its ability for personal, professional connections along with kindness and manners.

Not Always a Walk in the Park

Two years ago I began a quest to get back into better shape. Since moving to MO 12 years ago my figure skating routine went seriously by the wayside since the closest rink is over an hour away so I started walking. First it was just around the neighborhood but since the weather doesn't always permit walking outside, I then started going to the track at the local community college. That gets boring and hard to walk at a consistent speed when you are jockeying around people. But needless to say I try and get out at least 4 times a week for an hour.

Something that definitely helps to perk one's mood up is the fact that outside walking you have the chance to see the seasons changing. I am more of a spring/summer person and as fall has begun here in full swing just the fact that by walking you are not only becoming more healthy but it helps to take your mind off other things in your life.

The good part since I have gotten more active is that I have lost 30 lbs. With walking and changing my eating patterns (I don't like the word "diet" anymore I chose to use lifestyle change) It isn't hard once you put your mind to it and have noticed it has helped with sleeping, and overall I feel better too...

30 Year Reunion

Well it is hard to believe that 2009 will be my 30 year high school reunion. Wow!! it is hard to believe it has been that long, and boy sooo much has happened I can't believe it. The day I walked that line to get my diploma and walked out of Banning High School is literally a lifetime away. The person that walked those halls has done a complete 180 and so many stories to tell.

Growing up an only child, a meek and mild young lady with absolutely no idea what life was really like outside the walls of my parents house. It would take many years, and many stumbles to try and figure out who I am. I don't think I still have figured that out yet. I don't know maybe we really never find out who we really are.

The fantasy is always there of going back in time and reliving your school years, especially high school. I would have liked to be more popular, do more activities, take chances like others did but I guess that would have changed who I am today.

One thing I wish is that more of us had kept in touch with each other throughout the years. I Of course lately several have come out of the woodwork with e-mails. I guess out of sight out of mind and then it hits us. I think I am lucky I do have a couple I hear from time to time, we've married (some of them multiple times) had children (some of them many, some none) there children have married now they have grandchildren; unbelievable sometimes!

We all have different memories of high school, overall my experience went well. And also I can say there were teachers that I would later say had overwhelming influence on how I live my life to this day.

I am sure it will be fun to see them. Because we probably really haven't changed much at all.. Yeah Right! the clicks will probably be the same, a little more weight, or maybe less....a little grey hair, or some are bald, but deep down we are still the same kids that walked the halls, a little more wisdom and all with paths that took different ways in life.

A Banning Pilot forever.......

Skating Through Life the Best I Can

This will not be entirely about figure skating, but I will probably from time to time go into my life in figure skating. It was a big part of not only my formative years but for most of my life skating in some form has been apart of my life.

I decided to use the analogy of skating because when you step out on the ice for the first time you really don't know what you are doing, how the whole experience is going to turn out and that is what my writings will probably be like.

Early on figure skating provided the outlet and exploration of life that I need. As I grew up and now grow "older " I feel like my life still follows the little thin blade. The ups and downs, the highs and lows, the good times and the bad, my skating always provided the freedom from the outside world and I willingly was able to express myself differently on ice than anywhere else. It molded me into a stronger individual, I was able to push my own personal envelope, think outside the bubble I lived in and made me feel like I could accomplish anything as long as I tried a little harder. It was never easy for me, I wasn't a "natural" at it and in the beginning it was something our family "just did" . The longer I pursued the sport, and the better I became, the more it provided the stability, and freedom that my formative years at home didn't really provide. Yes, I competed both individually, and as part of a team, traveled, never had any really bad experiences, a couple strained muscles and sore feet maybe but overall I loved every minute.

I get to a rink here and there, not very often but when I put those boots on and step on the ice, its a little like riding a bicycle, "once you get out there you never forget".